A Cold Start - Anakin x Reader

double agent of the heart

Get ready for chapter 20! ;)
---

"What do you want to talk about then?" He grabbed the sheets at the end of the bed and dragged them up and over our legs.

"You. Us. Everything you said to me in the ship earlier."

Anakin let out a deep throaty groan of frustration at that. I could feel the vibrations of the sound in our shared pillow behind my back.

"Y/N."

"Please, Anakin. I'm just so tired of whatever this is between us. And if you truly want to make me feel any better, you will discuss this with me."
I turned in my position, so that my back was no longer leaning against the headboard of the bed. Now that I was facing Anakin who inevitably had to look at me from his position, I could emphasise my points more.

"Trust me, I'm probably just as tired of it as you are. But this is so much bigger than you can imagine. Seriously. Once we've discussed this, there is no turning back."

"Well, I'd like to hope there is no turning back. Anything is better than this and I don't see how this could get any worse anyways.", I said.

"I thought I had taught you better not to believe that."

"Fine. Name one scenario that would be significantly worse than our current situation."
I at least couldn't think of a single one.

"Just to give you an idea of how drastic this is: after you've heard me out, it will be you who will try to get rid of me. Because I'm more than sure that you won't understand this, understand me! Chances are you will fucking despise me, maybe even tell on me. Damn it, Y/N!"
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. But before he did, I could see a hint of pain in them as he delivered his speech that got more and more angry toward the end.

But what did it all mean? I needed some time to process this new information, but then it dawned on me what he might have meant. I wouldn't understand, I would despise him, I would tell on him... My heart began to pound against my rib cage and terror filled me as I brought the puzzle pieces in my head together.

"Y/N... Are you alright?" Anakin must have noticed how pale I had gotten and he reached out his hand to brush it soothingly over my arm.

Like a scalded dog I jumped up from the bed and ran toward the door, quickly grabbing Anakin's lightsaber as I passed his desk. Standing in the corner by the door and ready to defend myself, I confronted Anakin- who just looked terrified.

"You're a double agent! My god, you were recruited as a spy for the separatists! You used me. And you wouldn't let me get closer to you so that I wouldn't find out your true motives. And that's why you said we couldn't have a normal relationship!"
The words spilled out of me. No, the truth spilled out of me. I had finally cracked the code!

For a moment there was a heavy silence between Anakin, who looked at me with wide eyes, and me who held out the lightsaber, ready for an attack. With every fiber of my body I anticipated Anakin's next move.

It is an understatement to say that I was shocked when Anakin suddenly let out a deep, hearty, honest laugh, one that I had never heard from him before. Was there an evil undertone in it or not? It was hard to tell.

"Y/N!" Anakin managed to say between chuckles and got up from the bed to slowly approach me with his hands up. "Put that down, please."

It didn't seem like he was going to kill me in the very next moment, but as a jedi I knew better than to let myself be tricked into a trap.

"You won't fool me anymore!", I said and kept the saber at chest level, looking him dead in the eyes.

"Okay, I won't. No more lies. But let's talk in peace and without that weapon between us, yeah?"