Punish me, Professor, I dare you.

Chapter 13: Reinforcement

"You can't possibly ask for something like that." Snape seems like he instantly broke out of the hazy state the whiskey put him in, and now he stares at me with a dumbfounded expression.

"Why not?" I ask innocently, giving him a pout. "You said I can wish for anything." I repeat the facts to him, but he's still looking a bit uneasy, hearing my reasoning.

"Indeed, the laws dictate that you can wish for anything, except the defeated party's death. You could even enslave me for the rest of my life, and I couldn't say a word against it..." he trails off. Hmm, that's an interesting thought to play with... "However, I strongly advise you to reconsider your decision. I wouldn't want you to regret offering your innocence to me, when you could have a much better suited young partner, who you can explore your fantasies with and give yourselves to each other entirely." his voice takes a sad tint as he stops caressing my lower back, and unfortunately, his mood affects mine as well.

"That would be impossible." I whisper in the air, while I straighten my posture on his knee, closing my eyes with a frown.

"Why?" he asks, still not understanding my point here. I couldn't be with any other man. Not anymore.

"Because I would always think of you." I'm looking directly in his eyes with a bloody serious gaze, though my lips hiding a warm smile. If I can't give myself to Snape, then I would rather die a virgin. I don't know and I can't explain this abnormally strong attraction I feel towards him, which is not just physical anymore. I truly want this man beside me, and I noticed that I started thinking about him a lot, when he's not in my vicinity. At first I only wanted to save him from his miserable state and depression, but now, I want to save him, and I want him to stay with me after I helped him pick himself up. Somehow, I need his presence in my life, otherwise, I get the feeling like something is out of place. Like the universe is not in balance. Don't get me wrong, I'm not obsessed with him. I just want to know for sure that he will be part of my day-to-day life and keep a nice connection with him. His aura affects me in a very interesting way, and I want that mysteriousness and elegance this man holds. Also, judging by his reactions so far, I think the feeling is mutual in some way. We just can't put our fingers on it yet.

Snape lets out a frustrated sigh, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger, then his worn-out, low voice slides into the silence between us.

"Why do you want a broken man like me? You saw my past. Do you truly think I am capable of offering any kind of genuine feelings you expect and deserve?" he mutters bitterly, hiding his eyes behind his fingers, as he slowly presses them to his forehead. He's showing me a side of him I haven't seen yet, and my jaw is on the floor yet again, seeing the well-hidden part of his character: self-hatred. Oh boy. This is my number one struggle, this part of him is my main mission to defeat and change his heart, I have to convince this side to give up the loathing and start believing again. I have to handle this vulnerability he displays in a very delicate manner, otherwise I might scratch the sensitive surface of his heart.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him in a tight hug, and rest my palm on the back of his head, like I would with a newborn baby. I honestly feel like I'm not holding his body right now, but his soul, the scarred, tortured, exhausted, dainty little soul who has been through so much, and is still standing with pride. A warrior. A few teardrops form in the corner of my eyes as I feel deeply touched by his daring moment to open up in front of me.

"I know you're capable of it, and you're capable of so much more. I saw the depth your love can reach, you just need to stop blaming yourself for what happened in the past, and trust yourself again. You possess such bravery and strength; other's only dream of having. The horrible things you had to go through made you think that you have no value anymore, but trust me, you are more precious than you think you are. You just need a little help to see it again. Let me help you, Severus..." I breathe into his hair, and press our bodies together as best as I can. There's nothing sexual behind my touch, this moment is truly a sensible one for the both of us, and I bury my face in his neck when I feel his hand start to run up and down on my lower back again, signaling the ease of his tension. We stay like this for what seems like an eternity, none of us uttering a word, just caressing and comforting each other, and when I think I will remain without getting an answer from the bat, he finally speaks again.