Punish me, Professor, I dare you.

Chapter 35: Up Against The Wall

"Come again?" the confusion is crystal clear on Olivia's face; my mentor is struck in the chest by my bold statement.

"I wish to step back from the assistant position." unease weaves itself in my determination as I repeat the resignation to her.

"And what would prompt you to throw away three years' worth of effort like this? Did I treat you this badly? Have I offended you in any way?" the hurt and disappointment in her tone squeeze my heart, but I've made my decision, and I am not stepping back. Remorse is also present in my slight movements, trying to hold myself together through this.

"No, not at all. You gave me your highest level of care these three years, which I am eternally grateful for. All my respect is yours, ma'am. I've learned some things from you that I could not have learned anywhere else. And I'm not throwing my efforts away. The knowledge I gained will stay with me forever, I just can't see myself working in the hospital." my head drops in shame and pity, I pity this woman here for letting her down, I pity this whole situation, I pity myself for looking like the bad guy here. I hate to seem like I betrayed her.

"I still can't see the reason why you would give up such a high status. What drove you to this decision?" she takes a step closer to my regretful form with a searching face, trying to find my escaping eyes and pin her gaze in them. Like she could read me that way.

"Love." it's obvious, isn't it? There's no greater force that could make a person throw away everything in a heartbeat. 

Olivia stands frozen to the spot like a statue, only her widened orbs are running all over my politely closed up body. I can only hear her intriguing breaths as I'm watching her snow-white polished shoes, long inhales and short puffs out through her nose. She is moderately upset, I can tell. To be honest, I really didn't give this decision much thought, but choices coming from the heart's bottom don't need much consideration.

"I see. So, you wish to return to your beloved professor." she states in a motherly style, which catches me off guard entirely. I thought I'll have to face berating threats and condescending insults for my betrayal, but she's actually okay with it? I can only nod in awe, suspicious that she is able to accept this so easily.

"But you could see him while working in the hospital. You still have a private life outside Mungo's walls, you know." her hand does an elegant circle in the air, the newfound soft tone leaving me looking for my jaw on the floor. As I see her sad scowl, my heart cracks up a bit. I understand her desperate attempt to save me, but this just won't be enough.

"It would not be the same, ma'am. I saw the inhumane schedule we had here, and I assume the hospital is much worse, since they have triple the number of patients. Seeing my lover once a week, exhausted and burnt out would damage our relationship even if we lived together, and this man is more important to me than anything in this world. Being separated from my partner made me realize one thing: social status means nothing for me, as long as I can be with him." the truth flows out of me like a river.

Another longer stare-off with my mentor, long seconds passing with Olivia trying to comprehend and digest the heavy meal I'm serving her right now. It's a lot to keep down, I know, but please try.

Finally, after a hefty sigh, she speaks up, defeated.

"Very well. I can't stand in the way of love. If I take you with me your mind would constantly jump back to him, and you would only endanger the patients' lives with your carelessness. I can't allow that."

A stifled giggle erupts from me, seeing her playful attempt to justify my decision so that it's easier for her to accept.

"However, you still leave me with one problem. I have no assistant whom I can return with." she continues.