I'm drowning.
I'm choking.
I try and try but I'm not good enough.
I'll never be good enough.
The voices are clogging my brain.
You can't escape.
I fear that even though I'm barley staying above water, I'm being dragged down into the current. Because, what is drowning if not the process of struggling?
And you'll never get back up to breathe.
I won't get back up to breathe.
You'll keep your head above water until you just can't take it anymore.
I'll keep my head above water until I can't take it anymore.
And then you'll drown. You'll plunge into the abuse and drown;your body being swallowed up by the tears and blood of the sea that sting your eyes, and you will die.
I will die.
Therapists ask, 'how does that make you feel?'
I say:
It feels like I'm drowning in my own fucking head...
You can't escape.
I can't get out.
And you will die.
I will die.
