Tuesday Wesley Rayemond

Authors note

I'm kind of confusing. I'm at lest 60 stories in and I haven't really explained much.

This is a guide to me. (Mostly just the voices)

I have many voices but I only name the prominent ones. I'll be describing the top three voices, the ones I named, and some key phrases.

Pickles:
- the first voice I named
- based off of my insecurities
- very intrusive
- keeps me company
If my eyebrows are slightly down, my forehead is krinkled, but I have sad eyes-disassociating/just somewhere else-I'm  probably talking to Pickles.

Trinket gremlin (aka Trinky)
- least scary voice
- based off fear of loss
- likes to collect things
- protective/snappy at times
- has a use for everything
If I'm talking to Trinky, I'll probably look determined or happy to the point I look phyco.

Madu Meister:
- newest named voice
- complex
- based off of anxiety, loss of control, father, and past
- speaks in Estonian
Madu Meister is unlike the other voices. He named himself. While, most of the voices urge me to do things , master teaches me. He gives me praise and calls me his puppy.

If my face looks numb but my eyes look wide or hurt, I'm usually talking to Madu Meister.

I just realized almost all of the voices are men...

A lot of them kind of name themselves and some of them haven't even revealed their names. For example, pickles didn't care what name he got as long as he was still he/him, so my friend named him. Trinky hasn't revealed his actual name (he goes my he/it) but he told me that he's a trinket goblin, hence the nickname Trinky.

Some of them are easier, like Madu Meister, and some are more difficult. One of the voices is becoming more prominent. It's like it's moving from the back of my head to the front. The word I think of is pending.

When I learned Madu Meister's name, it was like it just appeared in my brain. I knew him for a while before this, but the whole time I called him master. One day I just woke up and knew. His name is Madu Meister.

It's different with the new guy. His name is...pending. It's not here yet. He's kind of like Trinkey in a way. I know his title. Trinkey is the trinket goblin, this new guy...he's the king of thorns.

This is what I know about him...
King of thorns:
- likes chaos
- he/him
- influences, doesn't teach
- big ego

I don't really talk to him yet, still pending. He's kind of like a whisper in my ear. A nagging urge. I make a face when I listen to him, though. It's kind of curious. Like, the top half of my face is  happy and the bottom is sad. I'm usually wide eyed with high eyebrows but a straight mouth.

________________

I'm very bipolar. I've come up with a system on how to find out what "personality" I have that day. Personality is in quotes me saying I have different personalities, sound like I have DID.

Wilbur A is my favorite. When I'm A, I usually can balance out fun and work to a certain degree. I'll be very obsessive and passionate about random things. I'll overall be less mentally unstable on an A day. On some of the other days I'll react weirdly to certain jokes, people touching me, taking off my hat, etc. On an A day, I'll just chill, but be very sarcastic. I'll most likely be insecure about some part of my body that day though. Just don't take my hat.

Wilbur B is just a brain dead day. I'll flinch but more like in a dog way and not a deer way if that makes sense. Dogs kind of flinch like, 'oh what's happening? Oh, ok' while deer freak the fuck out. I'll generally not be very smart and will probably talk less in fear of saying something stupid. I'll most likely zone out here the most, maybe disassociate a little. You can touch me and I won't react.

Wilbur C is 100% insecure about their weight and holds back from eating or repeating things. Wilbur C is iffy about touching. I'll probably took at you and politely push your hand away. On a C day, I will find myself annoying. Very annoying.

Wilbur D is my least favorite. I'll be allergic to physical contact, try to blend in as much as I can, and will just be the living embodiment of anxiety. Don't touch me, don't take off my hat, and if you talk to me, my voice will be weak.

Wilbur E is like a woman on her period. This is what I like to call a super bipolar day. You never know how I'll react to anything. I might react with violence. I'd say, just keep your distance from me physically and make emotion neutral jokes.

Wilbur F is just chaotic. Nothing is going through that head. Brace for impact.

Important phrases:
- The voices
- The trilliums

Names most used:
- Mia/Cara Mia/mi amor/mi ecypse/mi serotonina/mi lluvia de otoño/george/niki/eclipse/blue/white cat

-Leah/moon/sapnap/orange/black cat

-Air/sun/sister in crime/sister/witchcraft buddy/coven buddy/witch sister/Karl/purple/Siamese

This is 897 words long. I'm tired. I'm done. I dong care.