⚠️possible strong language⚠️
Idk I haven't written it yet....
People confuse me sometimes. I've been really angry lately. I used to just get sad when I get stressed, but I've just been getting angry.
Everyday during recess and sometimes ELA and before school, I play volleyball. We have a system where I keep the ball in my locker and when it comes lunch time, Busses comes to pick it up because they get outside first. We meet them when we're done and play volleyball all together.
Alex and Busses are ball hogs. I've been choosing to ignore it because I know it's dumb and I figured it would go away. I figured that it was a really small thing and I shouldn't get worked up about it. I also thought that maybe, if I was lucky, they would get bored and leave. I was partially true.
During the time they're been in the circle, they hogged the ball, spiked it out of the circle almost every chance they got and made someone else get it, served/spiked it over the fence-up to 5 times per practice-and made somebody else go to get the aid, verbally bullied everybody, and spiked the ball in a couple people's faces.
This was mostly Busses, but Alex backed him up the entire time and did a lot of verbal bullying, too. You can't tell somebody that they're trash if you're hogging the ball during the time they're trying to practice TO GET BETTER. I honestly don't know why we keep them in the circle.
This has fizzled out a bit over time but now, they have a new bit. Every time the ball touches the ground, goes out of the circle, gets stuck in the middle of two people, hits someone, or basically anytime literally anything goes wrong they shout, 'RAY!' As if it's my fault. I honestly, didn't care at first and still don't care much.
I know that they're just joking. In fact, I've done that with Caelyn. I kinda fed into for a while, but the joke got old and so many other factors weighed into it. I had pent up anger from-well, a lot. I really don't like when people think I'm bad at something I'm good at.
Saying, 'Ray, you suck at math' is fine to me, even thought that might be considered as bullying. It's the truth. At least you're not lying to me. Saying, 'Ray, you suck at volleyball' will set me off. Not only are you belittling me, but you're also lying to my face.
I'm not someone who likes to be treated like I'm weak. I didn't want to pick a pissy solo for solo and ensamble, I don't like being belittled, I don't like being underestimated, I don't like people feeding into stereotypes, and I REALLY don't like help. If I'm struggling with something and you ask me if I need help, there's a 80% chance I'll start yelling at you.
A couple years ago, Alex asked me if I want help in a video game we were playing. I said, 'No. I don't need your charity. Who are you? Robinhood?" I said that to him yesterday, too.
Today, after a while of playing and being yelled at for things I didn't do, Alex goes up to me and starts spewing that shit out at me, again. He turned around and I smacked him with my sweatshirt sleeve. He looks at me and goes on about oh, why would you do that?! That hit my eye! I was just saying the same stuff we were saying the entire time and she HIT ME!
What stuff? Oh, Ray, you suck at volleyball. Why did you do that? You could've gotten that. Ray! Honestly there's no point for Ray being here. Man, you're almost as bad as RAY.
LISTEN TO YOURSELF. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT MY ASS. YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT. SURE, IM SORRY I HIT YOU WITH A PEICE OF CLOTH YOU ENTITLED BRAT. I've seen his house and gaming setup. Jesus Christ how much money has this kid seen?
You see, I like Alex. He's my friend, which makes this so much worse. He's mean during volleyball, and in math, the class after, he's all nice to me again. We study for ELA tests together and talk. So why in the ACTUAL FUCK are you doing this?
I told him to go cry about it. I hit him with a sweatshirt. One time, Nin stomped a chair into the side of my head. I lost vision for a solid minute, lost some memory, and was dizzy for a solid two hours. He did this FOR FUN. So, yeah. Go cry about it.
Busses didn't even say my name right.
