You said it was the best month of your life. I don't understand how it could be with a person like me. You said that I was your first kiss. I feel honored but sad. Out of everybody in the world, it was me. You said that you felt as if you had just found something you had spent your whole life looking for, and I took it away. You said you became numb, and I know all too well what that feels like. I'm so, so sorry.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
You said that they were memories you'd never forget. What about the numbness? Would you forget that? You said you wanted to be with me every second of every day. It's like you were a smoker and i was the cigarette. You knew I was bad for you, but you yearned for me anyways-and funny enough always wanted me to be in your mouth..and breathing me in...and between your fingers...and touching me...and getting hotter the more you blow me...and crumbling-JESUS SMOKING IS ODLY SEXUAL.
You said that you held back because I needed space, but you were the only thing keeping me running. I just felt so guilty for not being there enough. With the plays and the changing schedule, I tried.
I don't like crying. When I read what you wrote, though, i did. I held back for a while, until I got to a certain part. You said that you wanted to be as close as possible listening to music... because you know I never sleep and you just wanted to help me sleep.
That is when I cried.
So, you will wait for me like a lonely house, till I see you again and live in you. Till then your windows will ache. But how can you love me with all that I've done?
