I'M A FUCKING MESS. I'M A WRECK AND I CAN'T FIX MYSELF. IT'S LIKE HUMPTY DUMPTY FELL OF THE WALL BUT THEY SPENT YEARS TRYING TO FIX HIM WHEN HE ALREADY GAVE UP ON HIMSELF. IT'S LIKE I'M A SHATTERED MIRROR THAT HAS BEEN IN PIECES ON THE GROUND FOR YEARS AND PEOPLE KEEP STEPPING ON THE PIECES. I HURT MYSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND ME.
THE THING I HATE THE MOST ABOUT MYSELF ISN'T THAT PEOPLE HATE ME, IT'S THAT PEOPLE LOVE ME. THERE'S NOTHING TO LOVE. I JUST FUCKING HURT PEOPLE. TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING CALL SHITTY FATHER! HE HAS TO TAKE AWAY MY PHONE AS A PUNISHMENT FOR NOT TALKING TO HIM. I CAN BEARLY LOOK HIM IN THE EYES. I CAN BARLEY LOOK MYSELF IN THE EYES.
PEOPLE LOVE ME AND MAKE ME SMILE AND TRY TO PIECE ME BACK TOGETHER AND WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I FUCKING DO?! I STOMP ALL OVER THEM. I'M RUDE AND TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED BUT THEY KEEP COMING BACK TO MY BIPOLAR ASS.
MY MOM FUCKING THOUGHT I WAS GONNA RUN AWAY WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE MY PHONE AND SHE WAS WORRIED SICK. I MADE HER SO WORRIED AND SHE STILL GREETS ME WITH A SMILE AND A HUG. AT LEAST MY DAD KNOWS IM AN ASSHOLE. AT LEASR HE KNOWS WHAT A CUM RAG I AM AND HE TREATS ME AS SUCH.
Saying my dad treats me like a cum rag doesn't sound very good...
I fucking hate my birthday.
