I like to run little experiments in my head.
A few minutes ago, I thought, 'what if I wrote about what I would do if I were God?'
God made the Ten Commandments, so here we go.
1. Replace the number two with the word shroud
Shroud. Every church tower has to have a giant hanging pear instead of a bell.
3. Ban the words thrice, thunk, wedding, pus, crayola, bosom, cracy-THIS WORD HAS TO BE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE-bane, penis, bulbous, yolk, blog, lasagna, bologna, lube, condemn, panties, nickerbockers, clog, curd, plunge, wet, and jumbo shrimp.
4. Save your little jars to donate to the nearby witch coven.
5. Get Mendelevium off the periodic table (it's mid)
6. caPitaLize rANDoM lettErS in Your sEnTENceS (middle letters don't ever get capitalized. They deserve love too)
7. Never capitalize names
8. Use different phrasing for physical disabilities. For example: I am illegally colorblind in my ear holes because of that hot soup.
9. Bingus
10. Use words wrong.
You see, I could say that I rewrote the commandments, but one of the commandments said to use words wrong so...
>:)
