XXXIX

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Talking to San was almost healing.
Sieon couldn't deny it.
But did not want to accept it either.

She had never felt so comfortable with anyone besides Chaeyoung.

And if she came to think about her first few interactions with him, her attitude had definitely changed. She had became kinder to San.

Maybe he's actually a good person.
Or more than that.

She turned in her bed and looked at the wooden ceiling...


"Are you sure you won't come with me this time either?"

"Ma, you know i–"

"I know." Sieon's aunt sighed, "How long are you going to use the same excuse?"

Sieon moved to hold her hands and looked at her sincerely, "It's not an excuse."

Her aunt looked away, "You know dear, if you actually cared about us, you'd come with me without a second thought."

"How can you think that I don't care about you?" Sieon whined, "I love you all."

"You love us but you don't care about us," she folded her arms over her chest.

"I do care," Sieon looked at her feet, "but I like living here."

"Sieon, you know we're concerned about you. I can't stop thinking about you when I'm there," she moved forward to hold her daughter by the arms, "Please, come with me."

Sieon looked at her aunt with eyes filled with tears, not sure how to decline her that time.
Her aunt who understood her, didn't bother asking, or requesting her again, and left two days after, alone.
If Sieon was genuinely happy in the village and did not feel the need to stay with her family, no one would mention that again and let her live the way she wanted to.
Sieon knew that her aunt was unhappy by her decision for she didn't write to her often and would only reply if Sieon sent a letter.
It broke her heart but she was sure that her family would never abandon her and would always love her the way she loved them.

"I miss them so much," she confessed to herself as she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

She sat up against the wall and looked at the small flower pot, glowing in the faint ray of moonlight.
It had the flowers that she picked up with San on her way back from the forest. 

He picked them up for her.

Sieon smiled, My family may not be here with me, but people here are my family, and this village is my home.

 
"Are you'd till not going to open from today?" Sieon asked when she went to see Chaeyoung the next day.

"I'm not sure," Chaeyoung didn't look at her, "I tried to do some work to distract myself, but I couldn't."

"It's alright if you can't, but let me do my work," Sieon hummed, "You know Jiso wants her dress completed in two days. I haven't even worked on half of it yet."

She finally looked at her and nodded after a moment, "Alright, you can work in the shop, but let's not open it. I can not receive more orders yet."

"Okay," Sieon smiled because now she could keep Chaeyoung company.

She started working the same day after bringing the untouched orders back to the shop from her house.

A day passed and Chaeyoung still didn't talk much, only brought tea and food for Sieon as usual.

"Where are you going?" Sieon stopped Chaeyoung by holding her forearm.

"Heading back to my house, I don't feel like working."

"I know, but can't you at least eat with me?"

Chaeyoung hesitated.

"I have breakfast and dinner alone, now you want me to have lunch alone as well."

Chaeyoung gave up and Sieon took her food back in the house to have it with her friend.
But she wasn't sure if she did right, because Chaeyoung was as quiet as a mouse.

"You always told me to talk it out, and look at you sitting like a statute in front of me," Sieon complained.

"Sieon, what should I do? At this point the shop will completely shut down."

Sieon sighed, "Shop can be talked about later, I'm talking about you!"

Chaeyoung looked at her, ready to cry at any moment, "I don't know myself right now. What I am doing? Why I am doing?"

"You should at least tell me. Because you're someone who wanted to get married, have a family, but your reaction is making me confused."

"Sieon i- I do, but like, I'm thinking about it and it's making me wonder how things will be? What if he's not good, what if he's not like the husband I imagine him to be? What if he's like dad?"

"So will isolating yourself going to answer your questions?" Sieon scoffed, "Go meet your mom and tell her about it."

"This is where it gets worse!" she sniffed, "Mom has already said yes, what will change if I talk to her. She's the person I want to talk to the most right now but she's not listening to me."

Sieon shook her head, "I didn't expect this from you. She's you mom Chaeyoung!" she slightly raised her voice, "She said yes for a reason. And if she can agree, she can disagree for your sake as well Chae, it's not like you and that man are already married."

Chaeyoung wiped her tears, "She will listen to me, right."

"Yes!" Sieon smiled and placed her hand over her friend's, "Listen to her, so she can listen to you too. And I'm sure she's the only one who can take away your fear of that man being similar to your father."
She paused and revived what San said, "Besides, even if you don't want it, talk to her. Because it's you have to love with that man. You can make your own decisions because it's your life."

Chaeyoung cried and hugged Sieon, "Thank you, Sieon. And I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Sieon laughed, "But if you really are, just open the shop already and work with me."

Listening to her friend, Chaeyoung opened her shop the very next day and continued to do so.

"When will you talk to aunty?" Sieon asked.

"Soon..."

"Go to her tomorrow, or else I'll take you."

"Sieon," Chaeyoung shook her head, "I'll go myself, soon."

"The more you delay it, the more anxious you'll feel. Listen to me, and visit her as soon as possible."
 

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