In The Arms Of Morpheus || CHOI SAN

XLVIII

 
 
"Chae, i–" Sieon stopped and looked at the girl in front of her.

Chaeyoung was staring, no– glaring at her as they sat opposite to each other.
The atmosphere felt strange and Sieon's body was tense, not being able to form words but she knew she had to give a reply; to be able to tell anything she can to ease the misunderstanding.

Sieon opened her mouth to say, anything, but Chaeyoung beat her to it, "I feel betrayed."

Sieon's eyes widened at her statement but somewhere in her mind she could hear herself saying, What else were you expecting to hear?

"I'm being honest here because I know you aren't."

"But what do mean betrayed..?"
Sieon clearly had no idea where things were leading to.

Chaeyoung sighed, "It's because– even though I only saw you both together for a moment. Only a moment, but it definitely felt like what you both have isn't a change in a day. It must've been going on a for a while right?"

Sieon sat still for a second and slowly nodded.

Chaeyoung looked away.
"I feel worse," she said under her breath but Sieon heard it.
She heard it but remained silent, knowing very well that no explaination could justify her actions.

"Sieon, I–" Chaeyoung took a deep breath, "You know I respect your privacy and I never force you to tell anything to me unless you want to, but this is just… I feel like you have no trust in me."

"You're the only person who knows almost everything about me, Chae. I have had no one here besides you. You know I would never intentionally hide anything from you, especially this," Sieon's eyes met Chaeyoung and she didn't look away this time. "What happened with San was actually unexpected. I mean, who would've thought about this. I couldn't help my feelings, Chae. And I was scared. I know I should've told you sooner but a part of me was doubtful. I was scared to hear you tell me to not meet him, to stop seeing him. Because whenever any rumor went on about me I was the one who was told to shut off and stay away."

Chaeyoung slightly scoff laughed, "Don't you think both the situations are different?"

"They are," Sieon spoke with certainty, "But I've struggled with those baseless rumors for years, Chae. And being in love with someone is something new to me. I have no past record of this and I want to cherish this as long as I can."
 

✂
 

Sieon returned with a heavy heart and gloomy look, the previous conversation having no progress, yet it felt like the situation became more unpleasant.

She stopped when she realized someone was standing in front of her, and finally looked up to see the person she wanted to see the most.

With eyes full of tears, she immediately hugged San as he gently held her and caressed her hair.
"I think we shouldn't be standing outside, Sieon. Let's go in."

After bringing her inside and making her sit, he asked her what happened even though it was quite obvious things didn't go well. She told him what happened and San had clear concern on his face, not sure why Chaeyoung was reacting this way but maybe that's how close their bond was.

"…San, I'm," she look at her their interlaced hands and back at San, "I'm scared to lose you."

His expression had a slight change.

"I know it may sound weird, but I am. I don't want to lose you especially not because of what others say…" she confessed, "I love you."

The time had seemed to have stopped as everything felt motionless. But slowly, San moved forward and wrapped his arms around Sieon, placing his head over her shoulder and letting her ease in.

She finally felt air coming to her and hugged him back.
For a while San didn't utter a word and remained in that position, and Sieon was sure if they stayed still in that manner, she'd fall asleep like that only.
But San moved away and cupped her cheeks instead, "Me too," he finally responded and kissed her forehead gently.

_

The night sky hung heavy over the village as Sieon drifted into a deep slumber. Moonlight filtered through the thatched roof of her small hut, casting gentle shadows across the room. But her peaceful rest was soon disrupted by the sound of rustling and soft thuds.

Sieon stirred, her eyes fluttering open, heart quickening as she tried to identify the source of the noise. Her gaze fell upon the figure of San, who was rummaging through her belongings. Panic gripped her, suspicions rising like dark clouds in her mind.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady, though her heart pounded in her chest.

San turned to her, eyes wide with surprise, trying to conceal the contents of his hand behind his back. "I-I was just looking for something," he stammered, his friendly smile attempting to mask his unease.

Sieon squinted at him, "What?"

"A.. pin! A pin, because my button here just fell off."

"At this hour..?" She was not entirely convinced.

He shrugged, "I couldn't sleep."

"...Alright," she said, though she couldn't shake off the feeling that something was amiss.

As San returned to her side, she noticed a distant, troubled look in his eyes. There was more to this than a simple curiosity. She felt a pang of worry for him but hesitated to pry.

San's mind went back to the day before the festival.
 
 
In the darkness of a moonless night, he stood amidst the dense forest, a lone figure cloaked in shadow. He was waiting for someone and the meeting was critical. Finally his leader arrived at greeted him.

"San," the leader spoke, his voice low and commanding. "How's the taste going?"

"It's going well, just a little slow."

"It's too slow," his voice deepened, "I haven't been able to communicate directly with you, but tell me honestly, do you think you can do it?"

"See, Hongjoong. I am do-"

Hongjoong, his leader interrupted, "or let me change my question; is this even worth it?"

San gave him a confused look.

"You're the one who suggested that Sieon may know the answers to some of out questions right? So, does she?"

His silence itself was an answer and Hongjoong sighed shaking his head, "Are you even sincere with your work?" His voice was now firmer then before.

San nodded, feeling the gravity of his words, "Yes, sir."

The leader's expression remained unreadable, "I have high hopes from you, San. Your loyalty and dedication to us is valuable."
He placed a hand over his shoulder, "We don't have too much time. Try to do better."

San nodded, trying to conceal the internal conflict he was having.
He was torn between his duty and the burgeoning emotions he couldn't deny.

As Hongjoong dismissed him, San's mind churned with uncertainty and guilt. He had crossed a line he never intended to, and now he had secrets that could not be shared. His feelings for Sieon weighed heavily on him, adding to the burden he already carried.

Back in Sieon's hut, the memories of that meeting flashed before him as he laid beside her, trying to keep the turmoil within hidden from her.

His mind told him to distance himself from her to protect her, but his heart yearned to stay, to cherish the moments they had together.

He looked at Sieon –who fell asleep again, the last few days and recent arguments exhausting her.
"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Sieon," he whispered softly, his fingers gently caressing her cheek. "Even if it means hiding the truth."

With those conflicted thoughts swirling in his mind, San closed his eyes, finding solace in the peaceful rhythm of Sieon's breathing. The night enveloped them both, and he hoped that their love and trust could withstand the shadows of his past.