Wanting My Assistant

Chapter 55

My heart is thudding in my ears, my palms are sweating and I can't keep my breathing under control. This is what it feels like to panic. This is what that panic feels like.

I don't like it.

Isadora is getting ready in the bathroom and I'm pacing around my room, trying to think about what I'm going to say, how I'm going to do it, how I'm going to sneak the ring. Everything is so stressful, it almost makes me nauseous.

Now I know how Kingston felt proposing to Amara. God, my mouth is dry and my throat is clogged. My stomach is in knots and we aren't even at the rink yet. Snowball is sitting on the bed, staring at me with those pink eyes and perfect white fur. He's lucky he doesn't have to do this, otherwise he'd be pacing with me. Damn cat.

I hate this, not knowing what she's going to say. We've only been together for a few months, how is she going to react to me down on one knee? Is she going to freak out and run away? Say no?

Fuck. I'm so nervous. I've never felt as nervous as this.

Okay, maybe the first date we had, but that's it. This feeling is still so new to me and I hate it.

How am I going to propose? What do I say?

I loved you from the moment my eyes laid on you?

No. Too common.

You make my life so much better? No. Still not good enough.

She needs the best proclamation ever. She needs a speech. The most beautiful words. She needs—

"Baby? Are you alright?" Oh that voice. Her sweet, beautiful voice. I've been so in my head I didn't even notice her walk in. Fuck. She saw me pacing.

My lungs are tight as I turn to face her, any oxygen I had in my lungs now gone. How can someone look so good in just a sweater and leggings?

"Yeah," I breathe, my eyes trailing over every inch of her beautiful figure. With those black leggings that hug her thighs perfectly, highlighting the little nip in her waist that peeks through with the short length tan sweater she's wearing, it's baggy but somehow brings out the best in her figure. Like her small waist and wider rib cage, slender shoulders and perfect arms. And just the right amount of collar. Her beautiful raven black hair is down too, the natural curl of her wavy hair giving a little bounce every time she walks. Her eyelashes are a little darker and longer, illuminating her beautiful soft blue eyes and tan skin. Pink tinges her cheeks as she catches my gaze and my heart beats even louder in my ears.

She has no idea how perfect she is. How beautiful. Breathtaking. She has no idea how truly in love with her I am. It's indescribable really. Not the dictionary could come up with a word good enough to describe her.

Her perfect blush pink lips curl slightly into a nervous smile, her eyes darting away from mine. "Are you ready to go ice skating?"

She brightens at that and nods, a full-blown smile blooming across her face. "I can't believe you remember me telling you about that, I told you that the first time you came to my apartment right? That was at least five months ago. How do you remember stuff like that?" She rambles and I can't stop the smile on my face as she does so.

My adorable, stunning woman.

"Well, what do you remember about me?" I muse, stepping close to her and sliding my hands across her hips, gripping them to show my appreciation for the fullness of them. She lets out a small huff of breath, tipping her head back to look up at me, eyes sparkling in the setting sun.

Thank god it sets early, because I get to see this.

She looks like an angel with the light touching her skin. The soft glow makes her look like the sun was made to shine into her.