Burn for Me

Chapter 37: Smile

3rd pov:

"Whatever it is can wait, just let me hold you in my arms for a second." Neteyam engulfed her in a tight embrace, tucking his face into the crook of her neck and taking a deep inhale of her scent. Suddenly, Tsamera felt a wetness trickle down her collarbone as quiet sobs came from her husband.

"Mera...I have something to tell you."

The crashing reality hit the young woman like a truck, amidst all the war talk and anxiety she had completely forgotten about what Varang told her, to be honest she was half hoping it was a lie.

"no..."

"I'm so sorry Mera, she's gone, our daughter is gone."

The words of truth hung in the air, filling every aspect of Tsamera's mind, a simple ringing sound vibrating through her ears.

It was a moment of an outer body experience, like she was on the outside looking in, her brain was doing everything it could to escape the pain, including disassociating from herself.

But it didn't work, the pain was an inevitable punishment lingering on her doorstep, refusing to leave until she's given her penance. 

How much more did she have to give?

Her child is gone.

A pained whimper escaped Tsamera's mouth, Neteyam's ears pricked up and he quickly pulled away, climbing onto the bed, laying is wife on him so he could embrace very aspect o her, this time, she was cradled into him.

"It's ok baby, cry, cry as much as you need to."

She broke at his words and the soothing rubs of her back, a choked sob erupting from her throat before is formed a desperate wail.

Tsamera couldn't handle the sheer emotion coming from her all at once, it made her head want to explode, her grip on Neteyam was tight, her fingers pressed into the flesh of his shoulders so hard she was sure it would leave bruises, but he didn't flinch, not once, ne just silently cried with her and held his wife until she got it all out.

"Is it true? Is it true I can't have anymore." Tsamera tried to stabilise her uneven and erratic breathing.

"...yes, but it's ok Mera-"

"It's not! It's not ok! Nothing is ok Neteyam! Stop lying to me for the sake of sparing my feelings. Be angry. It's my fault. I couldn't fight back, I was weak and stupid, and I stopped running even when I knew it would get me caught because I can't get over some stupid fucking instincts, Neteyam it's all my fault, I should have protected her!"

"Never. Never say that again. This is not your fault, and the fact you think it is, that is what makes me mad. This is no one's fault but Quaritch's, and if anyone is weak, it's me, I should have been able to protect you, the both of you...I want revenge Mera, as crude and heartless as it sounds I want to kill that motherfucker's son in front of him. And then kill him. I want to avenge you, and our daughter. And I want to make sure nobody else suffers at the hands of him and his demons anymore."

Varang was right about three things so far, the miscarriage, her infertility, and Neteyam wanting to kill Quaritch.

"What will you do?" Tsamera's tears continued but her breathing was getting better.

"I'm going to hunt him. I'm going to let him know he is my prey, I want his last moments to be filled with such dread and fear he'll pray for death to come take him before I do."

"...what did the others say?"

"Our parents are very against it...but all of the siblings are in. I know there is some sense in what my dad is saying, it's dangerous and I'm risking lives going into this, but I can't just sit and wait for Quaritch to come to us anymore, I won't. Every time he attacks first, he has the upper hand, and we suffer losses, unimaginable losses like this one. I know it's hard but you have to understand-"