Guilty Pleasures

1-The crash

"Ah, just like that. Fuck yeah just there" the guy moaned while the other's fingers were up his ass.
I was close. Damn, very close. Almost d-
I open my eyes coming back to my senses ,realising what I did. Again. Tears well my eyes, it's hard to breathe, my thoughts are blank and I'm drowning in the guilt. Again. Deeper. Farther. I cannot think straight.
How can I? I am gay afterall.
Breathe, in and out. I can see myself, locked up in the room, watching two guys bang each other, while my parents were laughing outside and having a fun bonding time.
I hug myself, breathing in and out in and out. I think of my friends, my dog, my old self and I calm down. I smash my phone, again. I don't know how it's still alive.
I take a shower, with my body present and my mind blank. I can see the water flowing, but except that I see nothing. Emptiness,numb.

~~~

I am riding my bicycle right now with no destination.
There comes a guy looking handsome as hell. I had to focus on where I was going but if course which insane person can fight against such divinely looks. Focus HANDS go right! Oh no left! And I drive straight, no, gay into the handsome.

Smash!

He falls on his ass, I fall to my right with my bicycle over me, protecting itself. Handsome' s phone flies towards.... probably heaven.

Ross Amor

Woah I see stars all around my head. Free view i guess, might as well enjoy. Damn, it hurts like hell.
I open my eyes to look at a tiny looking guy hiding inside his huge orange hoodie, his doe-eyes filled with concern. He stretched his arms to help me, I held it to get up.
His hands are as soft as my pillow
And then i see my phone,laying there,blank and broken.

"What the hell dude?!" I growled.

"Not my....distracting.." he mumbled some incoherent words and looked at his feet which infuriated me even more.

"Excuse me?" That seemed to have caught his attention

"I am so incredibly absolutely amazingly, superbly wonderfully oh sorry i mean extremely sorry" he spoke whatever came to his mouth which just made me laugh at his cuteness,but i wasn't having it. It's my PHONE.

"How are you planning on repaying this?" I demanded pointing at my broken phone.

"Oh" what the hell?

"Welp that's my cue to leave i guess" he started walking away. Like he did not just HEAR what i SAID. I held him by his hoodie and dragged him back.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm sorry mister. I cannot pay for your phone which is pretty bad and rude and stupid but i am really sorry I am actually in a deep debt to my landowner. I hope you forgive me, i am sorry dude. Your looks had caused the fate to your phone. Oh i wasn't supposed to say that but oh well. Bye,nice seeing you" he was rambling at this point.
I contemplated on letting him go but i do need my phone. I gotta look for a wa-
He ran away! Without his bicycle. Great. I might just steal this then.

Austin Brooks

Goddamn that was a lucky save. But wait I'm forgetting something...
My bicycle!! My mom's gonna kill me.
I wish I see him again.
I go to my room, jump onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. Must be nice. To just stay like that forever. I take out my phone and delete my p*** history. I am sick of this. Watching every single day, wanting to end it but still i end back there. Watching it makes me sick, the fact that i watch it makes me sick, the fact that i lie about it makes me sick, the fact that i just want to shout it out loud makes me sick. I hate it. I hate this.
I grab my blade. Fucking pathetic really. I tear it through my palm, blood trickling along my fingers.
You deserve this bitch. You're whining like a baby over this? Ha shut up and go deeper.
I go deeper. It hurts. It stings. But i deserve it. And then i hear a knock on my door.

"Hey baby, you up for a pizza night?" My mom's soothing voice speaks up and I stop.

"Yes momma, I'll be out in 10" my voice cracks. What a pathetic excuse i am.

I rush to the bathroom and wash it up. I grab a bandage and aid myself messily and run out of the room.
I sit down at the table, we chant our prayers and enjoy our meal.

Ross Amor

"Hey yo bitch! Waasup?!" I hear my brother yelling the hell out of his vocal cords. Why you gotta yell? Just talk like humans.

"Can you not act like a human for once?"

"I do act like a human. But only when i talk to one though. Anyways what's up with ya?!" He inquired looking at my frowned expression.

"Nothing much,other than the fact that a cute guy ran into me, broke my phone and ran away" i shrugged.

"I'm sorry what?! Your phone? Again?? Are you sure you did not break it on purpose while you were on your break up call with your boyfriend or something?!" He teased.
I shot him a look and he raised his eyebrows.

"Get outta my room. I'm too tired for this"

"Tell me when you're not tired big BRO" he mocked and left. And did not CLOSE the damn door.
I sighed and grabbed my phone to get it repaired before my stepdad saw it.

I saw his bicycle lying there. I walked up to it and noticed a name on the seat.
Austin Brooks.
Cool name. Wait. I know them. I hooked up with his sister once and got caught by her mother just to be kicked out by both of them. I remember their house! I'll go there. First thing tomorrow.

Austin Brooks

My parents are out. Went to some function or something. And I'm on my bed staring at the fan rethinking my life decisions, when i heard my door bell ring.

I groaned and got up to scare the person away. But met my own little surprise when i opened the door to find that hot guy I ran into.

He was wearing a black hoodie with a "i am i am i am i am" repeatedly. He looked beautiful with the sunlight falling on his face.
He was checking me out! Goddamn I'm still in my teen titans pyjamas. He broke out a smile when he noticed my outfit.

"Looking pretty comfy, did i disturb your beauty sleep buddy?" He smirked.

"Yes dude. You interrupted my imaginations with my imaginary soulmate" ugh why am I so awkward.
Then i noticed my bicycle by his side.

"Oh my baby! I thought i had to die in our momma's hands tonight" i walked up to it but he held onto it tighter. I quirked my eyebrows at him to which he shrugged and shoved me lightly.

"Not so fast little one. I need my phone. You need your bicycle. So think of a solution. FAST" he demanded.

"I don't know what you want me to do. I told you I was in a debt-

"Nah uh. Shut it. I know your family and your dirty money" he cut me off. Wait how does he know about my family? I did not leave my journal tied to my bicycle did i? I can do wonders. Oh boy.

"I'm not a stalker. Don't worry. One time i hooked up with your sister and got caught by your oh so faithful parents"

I have a sister?? As far as i remember. I don't so
"I don't have a sister" i said.

"Catherine? Rings a bell?"

"Oh that's my cousin. Not my sister. "

"Whatever, pay me back or give me a new phone"

Just as i was about to speak, i saw my friend Jack waving at me. I waved back, he walked up and noticed.....wait i don't know his name.
"Hey man, what's your name?!!" I exclaimed for no reason at all.

"Oh uh i am Ross-

"Ross amor" Jack spoke.