Guilty Pleasures

29-love

Austin Brooks

'Hi. I'm Austin Brooks. I am a porn addict. I don't think it's appropriate to say that I'm 'excited' to join this group, but I hope we all get along well. Nice to meet you all'

I click send. It's an online support group with a bunch of people suffering something similar. I don't know how talking to fellow sufferers is going to help me get over it, but there's no loss in trying.
It's been 7 months since I watched it. 5 months since I saw Ross Amor's ethereal face. 5 months since I had a proper talk with my own mother. All that sounds like I've been living in the shadows or something. That might be true. But these weren't the worst months of my life. They felt excruciatingly long, but I'm glad I went through it.

"ERICA!! We're going to be LATE!" I yell as I bang on her door.

"EXCUSE ME AUSTIN BROOKS. It's not my fault you failed to wake me up on time" she shouts back.

Oh come on. I forgot that she needed extra time to get ready and i woke up late. But I did keep like 10 alarms for her. She didn't budge to even one. Ugh.

"Ok ok I'm ready. Let's go!" I felt bad. She bought this gorgeous dress last week and was waiting for an occasion to wear it and get ready. But now due to shortage of time, she just put on her cardigan and black boots.

"You look classic" I compliment.

"You look just as pretty as my drawings" she says rolling her eyes.

"But your drawings suck-"

"Exactly Sherlock"

This time I roll my eyes. Well, fair enough I guess. We get into her car and rush to Ross' house.

"So, are you excited?" She asks.

"Of course! It's been 5 months. 5 whole agonizing months!" I exasperate.

"Ah I can feel it. Today is going to be a fucking blast"

~~~

She was totally right.

I knock on the door and wait for someone to open it. My nerves are wracking and waiting to burst out of nervousness.

Since no one opened the door, I pushed it slightly. I mean....as long as I don't walk in on anyone thumping and pounding into their doors it'll be fine. As we walk in, the hallway is dark.

"Hello? Is anyone the-"

"SURPRISE" the lights turn on and everyone is standing with clown outfits with an almost eerie smile.

Ross was the first to burst out in laughter. He was hysterically laughing with tears in his eyes. This is absolutely ridiculous. Everyone's watching him with concerned eyes but I was laughing with him too.

I walk towards him and engulf him into my embrace. After waiting so long, this feeling of my heart thumping faster than an express train, makes the waiting so worth it.
He hugs me back tighter and whispers into my hair. I cannot make out the words but I'm sure he'll keep repeating them the entire day.

"I missed you too" I whisper back. He frowns and says "that's not what I said"
I chuckle and look around. Everyone's anticipation is radiating off them. Anticipation for what though?

"Is he the only one with the privileges?" Phoenix asks. Ah okay.

I hug each and every single person in the room. It felt as if we had met after years. But I'm glad to see that everyone is happy to be back.

"So, now that we're past that stage. Can we move onto the part where we can eat the CAKE?" Johnny interrupts everyone's hushed and rushed talking.

"Oh shut up Johnny" Fickle comments.