haze / afi

part 28. unfamiliar feeling

working back at the store after the events, more so the feelings, that went down on violet and ashton's camping trip probably wasn't a good idea.

it had been a week since the trip, giving violet more than enough time to think over everything that happened.

the cuddling him at night, the light teasing, brushing her hair off her face. all causing an immense amount of butterflies to appear in her stomach. she knew what the feeling was, no way did she want to believe it.

after everything she went through with her ex, nathan, three years ago, she doesn't want to go through that again. she told herself before moving here that she wouldn't fall for anyone, wouldn't get into a relationship. therefore she wouldn't end up heartbroken in the long run.

no relationship, means no hurting.

nathan was a great guy when she was friends with him in high school. stuck up for her against anyone giving her a hard time, helped with school work and studying, they hung out a lot.

after they finished school, they lost contact, moving onto other things in their lives.

after reconnecting a few years later, feelings grew almost instantly. jumping into a relationship that violet perhaps didn't fully think through.

he was kind, caring, knew all the ways to show he loved her. but, after those initial feelings started wearing off, he became angry, stubborn, and incredibly horrible towards her.

he'd call her names, tell her she isn't good enough, make her feel as if she was in the wrong all the time. he'd invalidated her feelings, her mental health, and how much she didn't get along with her family. telling her she was a baby, was ungrateful for what her family do for her.

he became distant. not coming home to their shared house until past midnight. sometimes he wouldn't be home until the early hours of the morning. climbing into bed smelling quite obviously of alcohol.

violet would kick him out, tell him to sleep on the couch. she didn't want a boyfriend that stayed out like that, getting drunk, going who knows where with his friends.

he became possessive, in a bad way, wanting to know what she was doing, when, with who. and if he didn't want her going out, she wouldn't. he'd hide her car keys, lock the front door, force her to stay inside, whether she liked it or not.

they'd argue about god knows what. he'd grab her, corner her, shout in her face. making her seem like the bad one, making her feel worthless and powerless. making her feel like this tiny object that didn't belong.

there were good days, they'd talk, eat together, watch movies. be affectionate like a normal couple is. but when he wanted to be a lot more intimate, trying to initiate sex, and she wasn't comfortable, telling him no. he didn't like it. he'd get mad, shout at her, ask why they're still together if she never wanted to have him that close.

she never told anyone about the way nathan started behaving. didn't tell sophia, didn't tell her family, didn't even tell rose. she feared if she told anyone, he'd get angry and perhaps she was scared he'd hurt her physically.

when she would never give in to his 'needs', nathan began leaving late at night, sneaking out once violet slept. thinking that she had no idea what was going on. meeting up with friends, meeting girls at bars, inevitably finding someone to take care of what he needed, what violet couldn't do for him.

she figured it out a long time before they broke up. she didn't want to believe it, pretending to wake up and be oblivious to what he'd been doing for weeks on end with another girl.