haze / afi

part 85. do you think about the future?

early morning. the sun just rising. it was a wonderful night of making s'mores and laughing with friends. ashton couldn't have asked for a better way to spend his birthday.

violet woke up before ashton. he was fast asleep with his arms loosely around her stomach. she cautiously shuffled from his grip, unzipping the entrance to their tent for her to get out of.

her shoes were untied on her feet, just slipped on. she left the tent undone, not wanting to wake ashton. she sees the other two tents are still closed, her friends sleeping too.

she starts walking away from their camp, finding her way to where the small walkway is with signs leading to the area away from the camping locations and away to an empty spot.

her hands are shoved in the pocket of her hoodie— ashton's hoodie— to keep her warm. she finds the place she was looking for, a few steps up to where there are seats looking out over the desert. giving beautiful views.

violet sits down, crossing her legs in front of her. she lets out a long sigh as she closes her eyes. letting her mind think. think, think, think.

she can't stop herself from thinking about the future. she and ashton have been together for almost eight months. she's lived here for over a year now. she and ashton have met each other's parents and family, at least some of, and now they've been fully intimate with each other.

all that leaves, is thinking about what the future holds for them.

will the future be good? will the future be bad? are they going to live a long life together or will something happen to leave them both heartbroken. the future is so complicated and that is the exact reason violet hates thinking about it.

she wants to talk to ashton about the future. but in all honesty, it scares her. she's scared of what he'll say, what he thinks about their future. what if they want different things? what if they end up having a disagreement about the future? then what?

violet takes a deep breath, head in her hands, calming herself. until she hears footsteps in the loose ground near where she first came from. she looks up, seeing a tired ashton in a hoodie and the sweatpants he wore last night.

"there you are," ashton yawns after speaking. "didn't expect you to be out here so early."

"i didn't wake you, did i?"

"no, i didn't hear you," ashton reassures as he sits down beside her. "got cold once you'd left."

violet shuffles closer to him, leaning her head against his shoulder as he wraps his arm instinctively around her waist. his head leans against hers, both sighing almost in unison.

"you okay?" ashton asks quietly, already sensing something is going on.

"just thinking," is all violet says.

"anything in particular?" he urges slightly.

she's quiet for a moment, not answering until she's thought of what to say, "do you think about the future?" she reaches for ashton's other hand to hold in hers. "about us, about our future?"

"a little, yea," ashton admits. "i was gonna talk to you about it, but you said you don't like thinking about the future, so i wanted to wait for you to be ready."

violet doesn't speak after that. it goes back to being quiet. no noise around them. only distant noises and the sound of birds coming from the trees in the surrounding area.

"what about our future are you thinking about?" he asks, wanting to get an idea of where her mind's at.

"just like— where we're gonna be in the next, i don't know, year or two, or after we potentially move into a new place, what happens after that?"