Crossfire Queen

51.

I felt numb as I stood looking at luca. How could a contract signed by my dead father promise me to a man who seemed so hellbent on causing harm to people I cared for. "I need a minute" Luca said firmly before turning and fleeing the room. I stood motionless as Mario stared at me. Clearly also dumbfounded. "Let's get back to work everyone" he ordered turning back to his screens as his minions began following suit. I couldn't move though. I couldn't believe in 2023, a woman could be forced to marry a man contractually. This was ludicrous. It made me feel sick. Not just in worry but also at the thought of being the other side of this war. If Marco got his way I would have no protection from luca. I wasn't sworn to him like I was Marco. Not yet at least.
If only I had got knocked up after all. Maybe that would've solved our problems.
Feeling conflicted and exposed as I stood in the bunker, I wrapped my arms around myself for comfort and left. Exiting via the same door luca had stormed from minutes before. I felt a chill on my arms as I exited. Looking to my right one of the patios doors was open, presumably luca had just marched through them. I stood contemplating whether I should go after him but decided I need to work this out in my own mind first. So naturally I went upstairs and walked to my old room. My mums room as Lorenzo had told me when I first moved in. It was still a mess from the attack by Romero. But I felt comforted knowing my mum was here. At least she'd never sold my love. She'd fought hard to protect Me, to keep me away from Marco and the Di Rossi. Keep me away from my father. I wasn't about to fuck it up.
Slipping into the shower, I wondered if my mum had ever thought about dad. Whether she regretted not going with him, not staying. Maybe she regretted getting with him in the first place. All I knew is that she would've done what she felt was right and nothing less. She was a brilliant mother in hindsight.
Had she known about the agreement though. Is that why she tried to keep me away from any mafia member including her own family. Everyone had said that the guilt she felt at betraying the family is what drew her to insanity but what if it was me. What if it was the guilt at selling me, she betrayed her family for sure with the deal. But she also betrayed me.
My eyes closed as I let the water fall over me. I tried to hold in my tears at the thought of loosing her. Was she so upset because she hated the thought of loosing me too. Placing my back to the tiled wall I slid down till I was sat, my body under the constant spray of the water as I let my emotions flood out of me.
I hated not knowing why. I hated all the what ifs and maybes that circled in my mind regarding my mum. If she'd been here still she could've explained it, but I'd never have that privilege. I was so alone in navigating this, these two families so hellbent on killing one another, with me stuck in the middle. I could see how it could become to much, I could see how after seven years of it she'd committed herself to an early grave. I'd managed a month and the thought of not being here was already growing in my mind.
The thought of leaving to many people hurt though. Lessi for a start. I knew she was moving on to bigger and better things, I knew she was about to start her new life. I couldn't have her starting it full of sadness for me. I also found an ache in my heart for Luca. His tenderness, his support. I knew I was growing fond of him and I knew if I were to give up he would never forgive himself. He'd never forgive Louisa either and somehow I felt like she'd been punished enough.
I still didn't know if Marco would care. I couldn't work out if he would prefer me dead or alive. He wanted me, I knew that. Well, he wanted the idea of me. He would stop at nothing to achieve it. He didn't care how hurt I was, how betrayed I felt. He wouldn't care if I were willing or not. In his eyes I was his. In my dads eyes I was his. In mums...I just wish I knew.
I couldn't help but choke on a sob at the thought of not being able to ask her. It was times like these that a girl needed her mother, for safety, for reassurance, for warmth. I had neither. Sure the shower cubicle was giving me some solace, some warmth from the spray. But it was nothing like the hugs my mum gave me as a child. I let my tears flow as my mind raced through the handful of memories I had with my mum, praying they'd give me a glimmer of comfort.
Each time I thought of her, I could only ever remember her sad face though. The look of conflict in her eyes and hesitancy in her movement. It only hurt me further to think how unhappy I made her. It only forced my sobs to come harder. I could feel my emotions spiralling as I sat there under the spray. I felt so out of control. So overwhelmed and alone.
That was until I felt the cool breeze of the cubicle door open, forcing me to look up as my breath hitched. "Sof" his soft voice said worriedly as he stepped in, fully clothed and pulled me against him. He held me as the sobs reverberated through me. "I've got you" he cooed as he held me tightly. The wetness of my body, and of the spray around is soaking him throughout. "I won't let anything happen to you" he said gently as I continued letting my emotions pour out. "I won't let him take you" he added as i clenched his shirt in my hands. Not ever wanting to let go of him. He was my anchor in this storm. It had just taken me far too long to realise it.
"I only want you" I sobbed as he held me. "I know Sof" he said gently. "I won't let him take you" he said trying to offer reassurance. "What if we don't get a choice" I said looking up at him worriedly. "We always have a choice. I'll always give you a choice" he said as he caressed my cheek, before gently placing his lips on mine. "Let's get out of here, your like a prune" he said as he took my watered hands. "Luca" I said stopping him from moving. "I need you to know I'll always choose you" I found myself saying. "Even if it doesn't seem like it. It'll always be you" I said as he looked at me worriedly before nodding. "I'll always protect you. I'll never let you go" he said as he pulled me from the shower and reconnected out lips. "Stop thinking he's going to whisk you away. I won't let him" he said as he rested his forehead on mine. "I don't want you to get hurt" I said honestly. "I'll do anything to protect you Sofia. If that means standing in between you and him and dying as a result then that's what I'll do" he said as his eyes looked into mine. "I don't want anyone to die because of me" I said as my breath hitched. "I won't be dying because of you Sofia. If I go it'll be for you" he ushered as he caressed my cheeks, my lips meeting his in an aim to silence him. I couldn't bare to think that I would be the cause of his death. The only way I knew to distract my self from the thought was to engulf myself into him. Kissing him always slowed my mind. He took my breath away. He comforted me in ways no man ever had. "Love me" I whispered through our cases. "I already do" he said pausing as he looked at me intently. "I love you too" I whispered at him as he lifted my body from the floor and wrapped it around him, neither of us bothering with towels as he locked our lips and carried me from the bathroom and out to my former room. "We can go to my room" he said as we entered. "No, I need you now" I said with desperation as I kissed him firmly. I knew why he'd offered but I felt the poetic justice of making love with him in the exact place his cousin had told me I couldn't have him, gave me a thrill. As he laid me down on the bed he pulled his soaked tee from his body and wriggled free of his jeans. His skin touching mine, cool and damp still. "You're mine Sofia. Don't ever forget it" he mused as he dropped his head to between my legs. "These sweet folds are mine" he said huskily as I felt his tongue swoop across them my hips bucking to him at the intrusion as his hands met my groin, bracketing me back to the bed. Holding me in place for him. "Fuck" I moaned as he began sucking in my clit, sending my mind spiralling only to thoughts of him and euphoria. "Luca" I moaned as he let one hip go, and began thrusting his fingers deep between my legs. "That's it sof, ride my fingers" he encouraged as I circled my hips onto him, the movement and motion sending me towards a frenzy. As I reached my peak I felt him pull away, only to feel his whole self enter me seconds later as his hips bucked into me. His lips connecting with mine in a ferocious kiss, his fingers plucking at my nipples as I arched against him. "I love how you respond to me" he purred as he thrusted deeper. "I'll never tire of this feeling" he continued. "You're my everything Sofia" he rasped as he kissed me again. "My absolute world" he breathed huskily as his words became more frantic with want. "I love you" I said feeling my heat bubbling. "I'm gonna" I began but he kissed me to silence me as I felt him release his whole seed into me as I became undone around him. "Fuck baby" he said as he breathed heavily against me. "Too good" he said as he pecked me, still unmoving. "You're incredible" I said holding him firm to me, scared to ever let go. "As are you baby" he said as he kissed me gently. "You know I won't leave if you let go" he mused with a smirk. "I read that if you stay like this for longer, there's more chance of getting pregnant" I said honestly as he smiled tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "We can stay like this then" he smirked. "Although, I need you to know I want you not just for this baby Sofia. I want our baby to have its mother. I want us to do this together. I want to have you" he urged looking down at me seriously. "You already have me" I said as I reached to kiss him. Knowing I was signing my life to him with my words. "I don't want you to feel trapped" he urged worriedly. "You make me feel safe" I said softly as i caressed his cheek. "You'll tell me if it's ever too much" he asked still serious. "I will. But Luca I'm telling you. You're what I want. This is what I want" I professed as he smiled brightly. "You're everything to me" I added before kissing him once more.