I'm so so so sorry for not updating.
I've been having a difficult week, and on top of that, every time I try to update this story with a one shot, it gets erased due to the new website update, and I wonder if anything is ever going to go my way for once, but hey, whatever, right?
-Amanda
-:-
It'd been a long, ass day for him.
He'd been keeping watch of a little girl, a nine year old girl.
The daughter of an ex-Navy lieutenant.
They both died on his watch.
Killed in their hospital room, both father and daughter being admitted due to having received several bullet wounds when some white supremacists were hunting ex lieutenant Cross. Deeks had been talking to them about the incident when suddenly, two men dressed up as nurses took them out with shots to the chest, instantly killing Cross and his daughter.
Deeks took both men down, but he kept blaming himself for not helping, not noticing, or stopping anything.
Currently, Deeks sits at his desk, staring blankly at the desks in front of him, and Kensi, Callen, and Sam have been worrying about him."Kens, he hasn't said a word in about an hour," Callen says finally, "Go."
"I-I-I know. I'm going; Just, don't hover." Kensi says, walking over to her boyfriend.
"Deeks?"
No response.
"Marty," She takes his hand, "Talk to me."
Deeks looks up at her, "Talk to you? You want me to talk... Talk about.. what, exactly? About how I could've done something, and-and I just stood there? How I just let them die? About how they had just been shot and I didn't do crap?" Deeks's eyes boarder up with tears, "I get it, I took those asses out, but I didn't- I couldn't-... Is that what you wanted to talk about?"
Kensi's eyes water as well, "Deeks, don't say that. You did-"
Deeks interrupts her with a scoff, "I hate myself, I hate myself. I hate myself."
"Don't say that, Deeks. It's okay, I don't hate you, no one in their right mind would hate you... You shouldn't either.." Kensi cries.
"Why are you even with me? How can you stand being with such a screw up? I don't deserve you,-"
"Don't give me that crap, Deeks. I love you with everything I am," Kensi starts, her voice breaking, "I love you, and that's not just three words coming from me, and you should know that. I mean them. If anything, I don't deserve you. You're amazing, Deeks. You're not a screw up, okay?"
"You love me?" Deeks looks up at her, the tears already staining his cheeks.
"With all I have."
"I-I love you, too."
