Okay don't kill me for this one
Please, I beg.
I haven't done anything like this in a while sO BARE WITH ME
Tumblr made me do it
and it's a drabble, super dooper short, but
yeah...
...Enjoy?
-Amanda
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Kensi walks up to her destination, bag over her shoulder, Monty's leash in her right hand, sonogram in her left, with tears still fresh in her eyes. As if it had all happened two minutes before. Her hand found her stomach as she knelt down to greet Deeks.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" She said as she pulled a blanket out from her shoulder bag and placed it on the ground, "If you could, uh, even call a day a while."
Monty made himself comfortable right on top of his grave as Kensi spoke, "You know how I would always say that I couldn't live without you?"
The wind picked up a bit; she always assumed it was him... it made her feel better to assume it was him. Every time she spoke to him, she would wait for the wind to pick up, "Well, apparently I can and so can a fetus. But that doesn't mean that I want to... or the.. the fetus would want to."
"I shouldn't call it a fetus, right?" The wind blew harder.
She chuckled, "Didn't think so."
Monty started whining so she reached across and rubbed his back for a bit, "I left NCIS's Special Agent's unit... I applied for an interviewing position. I just... I guess I can't be on the field without you."
Kensi bit down on her lip as tears started flowing down her face, "I really miss you, Deeks. And I know that every time I come here, I tell you that I'll never love anyone like I love you, and that's because I won't. I can't. I don't even think I'll be capable of doing it again, but I promise you that I will live for our kid.
"I can't tell you how many times I-I've thought of ending it... But I know you wouldn't want that.. And I want to be here to see our kid, so it won't happen anytime soon."
The wind abruptly stopped and then picked up just as abruptly. Kensi smiled as her tears continued to flow freely down her cheeks, "I love you, Deeks. I always will. And I didn't bring you any flowers for that same reason." She chuckled, "I brought you a sonogram instead."
Kensi pulled a roll of tape out of the bag and placed the sonogram facedown onto his gravestone and taped the photo to it. She stood up, picked up her blanket, grabbed Monty's leash, looked at her wedding ring, pressed a kiss to the gravestone, and walked back to her car. Just then, it began to rain. She lay her head onto the steering wheel for a moment, just until she heard Monty whimper.
"Right, bud. No breaking." Kensi said and started her car. And just as she was driving home, her radio started going crazy. It turned on and off a couple of times, and then it switched stations until it landed on a station playing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, the song they listened to when they had a lot on their mind.
Kensi's hand flew to her mouth, as more tears fell from her eyes, "Maybe a little breaking," She told Monty, as she pulled over to compose herself.
She'll be okay.
