Alexander Kiel
Parang kailan lang, I was hopelessly clinging onto those memories of us, but as time went by without her, it started to fade. Her face got blurry, barely hearing her voice, and I'm scared to lose what was left in my head. Dahil kahit kailan, alam kong hindi ko na mapapalitan ng bago ang mga ito.
Now she's here in my arms, soundly sleeping. In her own bed. At her own apartment here in Central London. Mag-iisang linggo na ako dito pero hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa lahat ng nangyari. Mag-iisang linggo na akong gumigising na mukha niya ang nakikita ko sa umaga at ngiti niya ang huling nasisilayan bago matulog sa gabi.
It felt unreal. It's funny how barely moving my life is right now but I'm enjoying every minute of it.
I'm not a couch potato and like being productive all the time but here, imbis na 6am ako gumigising, minsan 11am na kami bumabangon. Wala kaming ginawa kundi magkwentuhan at magtawanan. Madalas nanggigigil pa siya sa'kin that I would get tighter hugs and a dozen kisses across my face even before I opened my eyes. Kahit pagbalik ng kama sa gabi, 8pm pa lang nakaligo na kami at handa na para magpahinga. At kapag nauuna siyang makatulog, hindi ko maiwasang titigan siya at higpitan pa ang yakap ko sa kanya. At haplusin ang pisngi niya just to feel her under my palms. The way her skin felt against mine was like the last piece of the puzzle of my being; it was supposed to be there all along.
And her hugs were amazing. I'm worried about how I'll go back home without it.
I've never felt so right and so confused at the same time. It was like my brain can't comprehend what's happening these past week but everything in me was giving me a thumbs up. Ewan, nananaginip lang yata ako. As if I fell into a sudden coma in the middle of my sleep and never woke up. At least make her my wife and live with me for the rest of this imaginary life then wake me up.
At kapag may trabaho si Alice, usually umaalis kami ng 1pm at susunduin ko siya ng 11pm sa theatre. Sa sampung oras na wala siya, madalas kasama ko si Denise at ang mga anak niya.
"So, kailan ka magpo-propose?" tanong ni Denise habang nandito kami sa The Victoria's Tower Gardens. We let the kids run and play with others while we're overlooking. We got a picnic tablecloth laid on the green grass with a basket of food and drinks.
"We just got back together barely a week ago."
"Bakit papatagalin mo pa? Ano pang hinihintay mo?"
"Hindi pa nga nagsi-sink in sa'kin ang nangyari. Parang panaginip lang ang lahat." She chuckled and I rolled my eyes at her, making her laugh. "Besides, gusto ko lang magkaroon ng adjustment stage between us. We're not the same Alice and Vincent that met nine years ago. Even when I met her five years ago, iba na rin ang ugali niya. Isa pa, three months pa bago kami magkasama ulit pagkatapos ng bakasyon ko dito."
"Bakit daw?"
"Work. Sabi ko nga, ako na lang lilipat dito, ayaw niya. Uuwi daw siya ng Pinas after ng contract niya."
"Baka naman mas gusto niya talaga umuwi."
"Siguro."
"Siya na ba talaga?"
"Ang alin?"
"Who's going to be your wife no matter how much she changed? Ikaw na rin ang nagsabi, you were not the same people you used to be."
"Of course I'm sure, I just don't know what the future holds. Maybe it's me that she didn't like after all these changes in me. I want to give that option to walk away."
