Alice
"Mag-ingat kayo."
Paalala ni kuya sa amin habang nilalagay ni Brix sa compartment ng taxi driver ang luggage ko. Ramdam ko ang pag-aalala dahil unang beses naming maghihiwalay nang ganito katagal. Kahit noong una akong gumising mahigit tatlo't kalahating taon na ang nakakaraan, hindi siya umalis sa hospital room.
"Ikaw din, magluto ka. Huwag puro takeout ang kainin."
Tumawa lang siya at nilingon si Brix. Maagang pumunta ang boyfriend ko sa bahay para sa flight namin papuntang El Nido. Palingon-lingon si kuya sa compartment at sa dala kong bag na isang trolley at shoulder bag. "Bakit ang dami mo namang dala, Alice? Uuwi ka pa ba?"
"Five days kami doon, kuya." Duh? Palawan 'yon, syempre maganda na handa ako sa kahit na anong mangyari. I have different kinds of medicines and first aid kit, five sets of clothes plus two more in my carry on just in case, a sun hat, my make up, hair curler, and camera.
Hindi ako pinansin ni kuya at sinabihan si Brix. "Ibalik mo si Alice ah!"
"Yes, kuya."
Lumapit sa'kin si kuya, hinawakan ako sa magkabilang braso at tinitigan. "Mag-enjoy kayo doon ha? Kung may mangyaring hindi maganda, tumawag ka agad."
Niyakap ko naman siya ng mahigpit. "Thank you sa pagpayag, kuya."
"Kapag ako naiyak, hindi na kita papayagan."
Tinulak ko talaga siya at tumakbo papunta sa taxi kung saan nakatayo si Brix. Kumaway pa si kuya sa amin nang makasakay kami ng taxi.
Pagkarating sa NAIA, nag-check-in muna kami bago kumain ng lunch. Ngayong nasa Pilipinas na ako, mas naging limitado ang choices ko sa pagkain. Buti na lang may mga international fast food katulad ng Army Navy kaya di na rin ako talo.
Noong una akong nagising, it was the countless foreign people in white lab gowns and scrubs I saw going in and out of my room that made me aware that I was in the hospital. Isang tao lang ang hindi umaalis sa tabi ko: ang kuya. Ang daming tanong sa utak ko but I couldn't seem to move my fingers and feet as I wished at ang daming nakakabit na aparato sa katawan ko.
The hospital room I used had a window where we saw the sunlight coming through in the morning. My brother was talking to me everyday kahit na hindi ako sumasagot sa kanya and he never left. He lived there with me, slept on a sofa beside my bed while I was being monitored 24/7. It was a long time before the tubes were removed from my nose and mouth. Ang dami kong pinagdaanang test para lang tignan kung may mali sa'kin.
The main doctor suggested that I should undergo therapy to help address the numbing of my limbs, and other cognitive issues. Hindi ko masyadong maigalaw ang dila ko kaya slurred ang tunog ng bawat salita ko. It felt as if I was trapped in my body with little communication with the outside world. Nagpanic ako, naguluhan, at nataranta ng ilang daang beses pero walang makaintindi sa'kin. Wala rin akong energy na magwala dahil nanghihina ang buong katawan ko.
Initially, the numbness on my limbs and my speech were the only ones bothering me until I tried to eat. It's almost like my throat doesn't want to take it in. Hindi dahil sa itsura or lasa dahil kaya kong nguyain ang pagkain but I vomited every food I tried to swallow and no one knows why. That's why I had to be on a feeding tube again for another four months. Kung hindi nila gagawin 'yon, mamamatay ako dahil walang nutrients na pumapasok sa katawan ko.
The doctors set the therapy for my eating habits aside and focused on my limbs and speech first. They believed it was an effective way to identify what's wrong with me. When my speaking skills improved, the therapy for my eating issues started. The food that my throat doesn't accept slowly narrowed down to what we ate the day that I was poisoned, which was japanese food, raw things, and rice. Sa bahay, nagsasaing pa rin ako pero para lang kay kuya. Usually, gumagawa ako ng iba't ibang klaseng luto ng patatas, salads na may meat.
