I'm not into love

Chapter 22 The unexpected kiss

Driana's POV

Palakad na ako pabalik ng classroom nang makasalubong ko si Mirko

"Dri..Dri I'm sorry please" Tumalikod ako at maglalakad sana sa kabilang direksiyon pero pinigilan niya ako.Not by holding back my hand but by hugging me.

Magpupumiglas sana ako pero nagsalita siya bigla

"Sorry.Hindi ko sinasadya.I know I have no rights to claim you as mine but I just couldn't help it.I love you that much.Please patawarin mo na ako.Hindi na mauulit, promise.Hindi ko kakayaning magalit ka sa akin.Hindi mo na nga ako mahal eh tapos galit ka pa sakin?Hindi ba parang ang hirap naman nun?Hindi ba parang unfair?Kasi mas lalong sumasakit ung puso ko kung ganun eh.Wag naman ganun Dri.Ok na yung hindi mo masuklian yung pagmamahal ko basta wag mo lang akong kamuhian.Tatanggapin ko na,tatanggapin ko na na hindi ka para sakin.I'll let you go.Just please don't be mad at me.Baka hindi ko na talaga kayanin.Pero one last favor please?one last hug before I let you go..please" Pumiyok siya sa dulo.I can't help it.I faced him and hugged him back.

Kasabay ng pagyakap ko pabalik sa kanya ang pagramdam ko na tumutulo ang mga luha niya sa likod ko.Wala akong naririnig na ingay mula sa kanya pero alam kong sobrang nahihirapan siya.I adore him because in despite his pain,he still cries silently.I salute him.

Ngayon mas nari-realize ko na talaga ngang hindi ako para sa kanya.I am not worthy of his love.

He have so much love to give pero ang pagkakamali niya ay ibinigay niya ito sakin.To me,who doesn't even believe in such things.

Ngayon that he said he's letting me go,alam ko na that's for the best.Ngayon hindi na ako mahihirapan pang ipaliwanag sa kanya na hindi talaga kami pwede.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kahirap at kasakit yung dinadanas niya ngayon pero alam ko na he'll get over it some time soon.Matapang si Mirko,I know he can overcome the pain.And besides, that is Mirko.Like me, he got one word.

He said he'll let go,right?And as far as I know,moving on and letting go is different from each other.Moving on for me is just mere WORDS while letting go is ACTION.Most of the times people say they'll move on but they end up just saying they will but they never did but once a person finally says he/she will let go,it means he/she will probably put it in action kasi it takes courage to say that line and it means a person finally learns how to give up,surrender and go to another path instead.

Alam ko,you guys are probably thinking na...hindi ba ako nagui-guilty?

Well of course I am,hindi lang halata 'cause I don't really know how to express guiltiness pero maniwala man kayo o hindi,nagui-guilty ako.

Siyempre.

May nasaktan akong tao eh.All he ever did is be there for me,take care and love me with all his heart samantalang ako ang tanging paulit-ulit lang na ginagawa sa kanya ay saktan siya.Paanong hindi ako magui-guilty ?

Nagmamalasakit na nga yung tao pero pilit ko pading tinataboy.I'm a stupid ungrateful worthless girl na hindi kayang magpahalaga sa mga ginagawa ng ibang tao para sa kanya.

"Mirko..."

"shh.You don't have to say it.I know.Naiintindihan naman kita.Hindi ko naman pwedeng ipilit ang isang bagay na hindi naman talaga pwede.Don't worry about me.Kakayanin ko ito,I promise.Kaya wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo,it's my fault in the first place.I keep pushing myself to you,I keep forcing you to love me.That I am very sorry." We were still hugging and stayed like that for a few more minutes.

Ngayon wala na akong pakealam.May makakita man at may magbigay man ng malisyosong kahulugan,I don't care anymore.Basta ang alam ko lang, I am hugging a strong and wonderful friend and he is worth giving the hug.Hug na nga lang eh,ipagkakait ko pa ba sa isang katulad niya?