Atomic Love [2]

Chapter 27 - Valentines Day Pt. 1

TW: Swearing

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Chapter 27

February 14, Sunday

Maeva's POV

I sat alone in my room, typing away on my laptop, hoping to get some work done so I wouldn't be behind on my classes. I was warned by everyone around me that college was going to be much different than highschool-- that it might take me ages to catch up; I took the warning quite mildly, my first mistake.

Though, saying that I was doing work on Valentine's day just because I seem to be behind wasn't the true reason why I was wasting away my time on a day that's meant to be special and filled with love. Because the homework was just an excuse, a distraction. Because love was in the air, but all I seemed to be breathing in was smoke; and if I didn't leave that toxic place soon, I might just end up dead.

And I did, I did leave that toxic place. I went somewhere new-- away from my friends, away from my family, away from the boy I fell in love with; and yet I was still doing everything I could to be isolated from everything, and everyone. Choosing homework over living my life was stupid, but I didn't seem to want to live this new life either. I'm just not used to it.

I seem to be stuck in a cycle where I don't like how everything is currently, but also don't want to return to where I was. I guess I just want my old life back-- before the uncanny amounts of drama, before any form of boyfriends.

I know getting a scholarship to this school was a privilege, and I should appreciate that, but it's just hard sometimes-- letting go of the school I've practically gone to my whole life, leaving the house I grew up in.

And it's just easier to drown myself with work-- distract me from everything-- the only normal thing in my crazy life.

Lauren was nice enough to offer to spend the day with me, but after I found out that she had a boyfriend, I couldn't possibly accept it. And obviously, Sienna had Dylan, my mom had Xavier-- so that just leaves me alone on Valentines day.

Though, that was until I heard a familiar knock on the door. After swinging it open, my eyes landed on Josh, holding a bouquet of pink tulips while wearing a white hoodie and cargo pants.

Joshua's outfit

I wore an oversized brown leather jacket over a simple black shirt with black jeans and brown 550's.

Maeva's outfit

"Oh my God, what is this?" I practically squealed out, Josh handing the flowers over to me. "Just picked you up a little something for Valentines day." The curly haired boy casually replied as I buried my nose into the flowers.

I could feel a smile inch up on my face as I looked back up at him. "How'd you know tulips were my favourite kind  of flower?" I asked, allowing him to come into the room as he closed the door behind him. "Oh-- uhm-- just a lucky guess." Josh then stammered.

I could hear this hint of nervousness in his voice-- and for some reason that only made the grin on my face grow even wider. Am I making Mr. Biggest-Player-On-Campus nervous? Though I just waved it off.

I could see his dark blue eyes shift to my laptop, then following to the multiple books that scattered on my bed. "Really? Studying again? C'mon, it's Valentine's day." The boy breathed out, his half-closed eyes staring at me in a way that made me weak in the knees.

"Well it would be quite embarrassing to spend the day of romance and love alone, wouldn't it?" I calmly retorted, chuckling a bit at the end of the sentence to mask the hint of pain that still remained in my heart. A small pain that I think has scarred me forever, and will never go away.

"Well, who said you'd be spending it alone?" The boy asked, smirking down at me. I jokingly gasped, my eyes lighting up in glee. "Are you asking me to be your Valentine?" I quizzed in a playful manner. "Depends-- is that a yes?" He remarked.

I wanted nothing more than to say yes, though my annoying know-it-all brain happens to remember everything; even shit I don't want to be reminded of. His motives of being so nice to me all of the time probably was just to manipulate me into being one of the many hopeless romantic girls he's been with in the past; I knew it would be the wrong choice if I was to say yes.

But then again, it's my life, and I can do whatever I want with it-- and right then, I wanted to go on a date with this super hot guy that sees something in me for some weird reason-- so I was going to do that while I could.

Time skip

We ended up going to the beach, even though it was super cold. There was a mix of white sand and fluffy snow beneath us-- the clumps of ice floating around in the cold sea.

I could feel the wind blow through my curly brown hair, me slightly shivering as the coldness hit my face.

Even though I've never really told Josh about me, it seems like he already knows everything. Like how I love tulips, and the beach-- and I'm not the biggest believer of 'signs' or whatnot, but it just feels almost as if we're meant to be.

Like I usually thinks that's a bunch of bullshit, but I just felt this instant click with Josh; like he was my guardian angel, sent from the Heavens just for me. Like he was my saviour.

With one wrong step, I felt myself slip backwards. Though before my back could hit the snow and sand, a pair of arms caught me. And looking up, I saw the shadowed face of Josh as the late-afternoon sun shone onto us. Well I'm warmed up now.

I instantly got back on my feet, feeling myself get flustered as my stomach filled with butterflies. "I-- I-- I'm sorry. I'm just so clumsy-- heh." I nervously stuttered, trying to hide my embarrassment by looking down at my feet; a bashful smile spread on my face.

"It's okay, sweet girl-- are you okay though?" Josh cooed as a nervous chuckle escaped my lips. "Yea, yea, I'm fine." I said back, clearing my throat to cover up the tremble in my voice.

Sweet girl. Sweet girl. It's almost like he wants me to die.

We ended up staying at the beach for the rest of the day. We went to this small diner nearby that has apparently been there for years, so it's all vintage and stuff.

I also watched the sunset with him. I've watched sunsets before-- the clear blue sky blending into a fiery orange, the clouds in pink and purple, before it all fades into dark-- but it just felt different with him. Everything felt different with him.

But whenever I thought about having feelings for someone new, I would remember Nate-- remember the feelings I had for him-- experience it all over again in just a second; the small pain that will forever be in my heart.

I really want to have something with Josh-- but do I want something new, or do I want what I had with Nate? Just with a different person. And that just brings me back to the painful question: am I actually over the boy I fell in love with?

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1270 words (edited)