All the Way 2.0 (Kylo Ren x Reader) - New and improved

Nightmare

When you sat with Kylo in the Upsilon class command shuttle, you were at ease or the first time since returning from the battlefield. 'It's over', was what kept repeating inside your head and every time you looked at him those words were confirmed. He'd not given up on you, he'd kept looking, as one of the officers had told you, mostly angry that he had to suffer at the Supreme leader's horrible mood during your month of disappearance. But even without that, all the anger you had harboured towards Kylo for dropping you on Weih had disappeared the moment he had taken his helmet off and you had seen his face again. It hadn't been his fault, no, he'd regretted it deeply and how you had ended up on that bloody stupid planet had suddenly not mattered anymore, because he was there.

Of course, you had had to get up and hug him.

When he'd stayed with you in the room as the other doctors did their...things that you honestly did not have the mental capacity to keep track of, he'd been there to hold you and get you through it. That you'd been naked, half-crying and a general mess then hadn't bothered him and he'd stayed with you, just holding you in his arms and so, you'd finally fallen into a dreamless sleep. A few hours had passed since then and half an hour ago, when you'd woken up in a hospital bed, your squad still around you. You'd said your good-byes to them, but not before getting out of that horrendous hospital gown and back into your black medical tunic.

When you'd awoken again, the memories of how you'd treated the Supreme leader of the First Order all came crashing over you and hit you like a hurricane of embarrassment. You blamed it on apparent dehydration, a form of PTSD that you'd hopefully forget about soon, and the onset of kidney failure from wearing a hazmat trooper's suit without preparation.

And after all, if Kylo would have really minded your behaviour at finally seeing him again, he'd have not allowed it, wouldn't he?

You pushed it all into the back of your mind. It was a blur anyway and how accurate it all was, you didn't quite know yourself. He started the shuttle up and you were mesmerized by his trained and confident movements. Kylo remained quiet and you closed your eyes before going into hyperdrive to not feel sick.

"Are you okay?" he asked, voice concerned.

You opened one eye back up to see that you'd already entered hyperdrive and nodded. "I didn't want to feel sick, but yes, I'm okay. It'll probably take me a bit to readjust and the side effects of the antidote aren't the nicest either, but I'll be fine." You smiled, hoping that it would convince him.

Kylo started picking at the console and nodded. He was wearing his helmet but even with that on you could tell from his body language what he was thinking.

"Thank you for coming to get me, Kylo," you said quietly.

"It was my fault you ended up on Weih in the first place."

"But it wasn't, was it? No one knows why I ended up there. You kept looking for me, a Major had told me earlier."

Kylo stopped scratching at the console board and briefly looked at you before turning back again. "I shouldn't have let you out of my sight."

"Hey, I'm your apprentice! I got good shooting practice in and I even managed to train my force void. It does wonders in keeping oneself hidden."

"You were injured."

You shrugged. "Three broken ribs. I've had worse."

"You almost died."

He was still blaming himself and it wasn't getting any better, even though it wasn't his fault at all. "Kind of my fault for going down south in the first place and not asking."

"I should—"

"You did everything you could, Kylo." He looked up, a bit taken back by the sudden firmness in your voice. "It wasn't your fault."