35.full machine

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October.18.2022

I stand outside of Sam's house he greets me with me a big hug "Happy birthday kiddo 23 years old how do you feel?" I fake cry into his shoulder "Old and sad" I blatantly state as he ushers me into his house "Want to talk about what the fuck is going on?" I let out a long sigh he takes that as a sign to get snacks and sit down "So where do I even start I've loved Jamie for a while like since we were little and I don't know I thought we flirted or we had something but I guess not he completed dropped me and got with a girl the minute I left for tour" after i finish my quick explanation he gets up from the couch we were sitting on "that bastard i'm gonna kill him what the hell is wrong with him?" he says walking back and forth the living room "he practically kicked me out of our apartment now i'm living with bailey it just.. i mean it hurts he was the one person i trusted fully the one person in the whole world i never thought he would leave me that easily" sam's face is calm but i can tell he's irritated "have you talked to him?"
"he tried talking to me when i was getting my stuff from the apartment but i could barely even look him in the eyes"
"understandable" this really isn't the way i wanted to spend my birthday but here we are
"I know I have no right to be jealous but I am I just wish it was me and him still because shit Dad I miss him so much I can't even express to you how much it hurt to wake up every day remembering that we don't talk and he has a girlfriend I genuinely think I lost him for good" he breathes deep then looks directly in my eyes "Look thena this is a complex situation I can tell he has feelings for you no doubt about it I can see it in the way when he tries to make you laugh and the way he smiles whenever you're around and I can see how much you love him this is passionate strong love you guys need to communicate" I shake my head "Yeah no that's not happening I can't do that"
"well you have to otherwise you will continue on life being bitter and wondering what he would say if you did talk to him" I hate to admit it but I know he's right "Okay maybe I'll talk to him" he gives me a satisfied look "Now enough about that jack ass here's your present" I grab the box and open it I see a side by side photo of us when they started filming avatar and now "It's crazy how it feels like it was just yesterday you and all the cast were so little I saw that and knew I wanted to frame it then give it to you" I immediately feel tears starting to form I get up and hug him "Wow thanks Sam this means so much to me I love it"
"Keep going there's more"
I feel in the box more and I bring out a cardigan not just any cardigan the Taylor Swift folklore cardigan that I had trying to find forever  "I searched everywhere for that and someone finally had it" I smile and stomp my feet we hug again this time it's tighter "thank you for this I love it all"
"No problem kid want to go get pizza" he knew I could never say no to pizza
"I Always do"
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 i mean it hurts he was the one person i trusted fully the one person in the whole world i never thought he would leave me that easily" sam's face is calm but i can tell he's irritated "have you talked to him?""he tried talking to me when i was ge...

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