Struck by you [a Roman Reigns story]

16 Dark hole

Roman POV

I was so glad that I had put these few days behind me and I could now go back home to Cassia. It was pretty hard for me to leave her alone. I would have loved to take her to work with me, but she didn't want to accompany me. She said when we talked about it that she had too much to do. But I knew that was just an excuse.

Every time she sat in front of her computer, she just stared at the monitor without doing anything or working on something. Her thoughts were so fixed on what had happened that she hardly noticed anything else. Even in her sleep she whimpered and talked about what she might have done wrong.

I tried to talk to her, but she only said that she needed more time and that everything would become good again by itself. But slowly I got doubts about it. Because in the last few days I noticed how her behavior changed.

That's why I decided to make a short detour to my mother. Hopefully she could give me some advice on how to help Cassia.

"Hello son! It's so good to see you. How are you? How's Cassia?" Mom asked me as she opened the door and immediately pulled me into her arms.

"Hi mom. I'm doing okay to some extent. The distraction of work helps. But I'm actually here to talk to you about Cassia. I'm worried about her," I replied.

"Come on in. I'll make us some coffee and then we can talk," she said.

And that was exactly what we did. I sat down in the living room and waited there for Mom. Meanwhile, I was sorting through my thoughts so I could explain to her as best I could what was going on.

"So... I'm all ears... How is she handling it?" mom asked as she handed me a cup.

"Well... She seemed to get better the first couple of days. Well as far as I can tell. But when we were packing her stuff I noticed that she wouldn't let anyone else, like her mom or her best friend, touch her. Her mom tried to hug her, but she completely blocked it.

And also with me I feel that she becomes more and more hesitant to allow closeness. Often she even flinches when she hasn't heard me or something. Oh yes... and then there is the thing that she constantly washes her hands. She washes her hands after every little thing and always has a bottle of hand sanitizer with her. I think it's almost obsessive. I'm not even sure she notices.

When I asked her about it, she just ignored me. But I could see her starting to shake. That can't be normal, can it?" I explained worriedly.

"Hmm... that sounds anything but normal. I agree with you there. I think it could be a reaction to the miscarriage. Sometimes trauma like this can trigger strange things. Like, for example, fear of touch. And the hand-washing thing... it could be a coping mechanism to get control back. You told me on the phone that she still blames herself. Subconsciously, I mean. Maybe it's all connected," she replied.

"And how can I help her? If she doesn't want to talk about it..." I wanted to know.

"Well... I think you have a couple of options. Either you send her to therapy, or you force her to talk to you about everything that's bothering her. Or what might be easiest, although I'm not sure it will work.... You need to get her out of her routine, out of her everyday life. Maybe she needs some kind of reset. A few days away from everything." said Mom.

"That's what I wanted. I wanted to take her away, but she didn't want that," I replied.

"Then figure something out, son. Pack her things, give her an excuse, put her in the car and just drive somewhere with her. Just the two of you... You need each other if your relationship is going to last despite everything. But right now, Cassia needs you a little more. And I know you can handle it," Mom said as she put her hand on mine and looked at me closely.

I knew that Mom was right. I immediately thought about how I could put this plan into action as quickly as possible. Because one thing was certain. I loved this woman and I would not let her fall into this dark hole.