Meant For Each Other

Past love

Phuwin had decided to go to a nearby café to finish his thesis because he felt like the walls of his home were suffocating. He was happy that he had reconciled with his brother but the thought of Fourth and Gemini together left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"May I join you?" A voice said that sent shivers down his spine. It was a familiar voice that caused him to have a sharp pain his chest. He lifted his eyes to look at the owner of this voice. He stared in horror as his greatest nightmare became reality.

"Hey Phu." The person said as he gave him a radiant smile.  Phuwin was frozen in his seat, his hands became cold and voice stuck at his throat. "You look like you have seen a ghost." The person says smiling awkwardly touching the nape of his neck.

"What are you doing here?" Phuwin said finally having gathered the strength to speak. "I just came back to Thailand a few days ago." The person said taking a sit across Phuwin. "I tried to get ahold of  you but you blocked me in all your socials." The person says smiling softly.

"What did you expect Naravit?" Phuwin replied with a frowning face. There was silence and a bit of tension in the air before the person decided to speak. "Phu can we talk?". Phuwin looked at this person with so much anger in his eyes, "there's nothing we have to talk about." He said.

"I can see you are still angry." The person said. "Angry? You think I am angry?" Phuwin said laughing but you can sense it wasn't genuine laughter, it was filled with so much anger and hurt. "Phu please." The person said softly. "Don't call me that, you lost the right to call me that when you... left me." Phuwin replied choking on his words.

"I didn't want to leave you Phu. I had to, everything was just.." The person said looking down."when everything was what Pond?" Phuwin said with his voice slightly raised. "So we are not going by Naravit anymore, that's progress." Pond said with a smile on his face. "Please leave, I don't have time for this." Phuwin said looking at his laptop avoiding Pond's gaze.

"Just 5 minutes of your time please." Pond plead. "5 minutes of my time? I gave you 5 years of my life and look where that got us." Phuwin said trying to stay composed but you could hear the trembling in his voice. "Phu I am sorry." Pond said genuinely.

Phuwin closed his laptop and started to pack some of the papers lying on the table into his backpack and packed his laptop into his laptop bag. "Since you won't leave I will." He said standing up attempting to leave. Pond grabbed his wrist and held it tightly and said "Phu please."

Phuwin froze in his tracks. That touch, that touch he was yearning for months after their break up. His eyes brimmed with tears with a cracked voice he said "follow me, I don't want to do this here." before freeing himself from from Pond's grasp and headed out of the door. Pond promptly followed him.

They both got into Pond's car and drove to the address that Phuwin had given Pond. During the car ride, Phuwin kept his gaze fixated outside the window. He didn't want to look at Pond, he couldn't, seeing him still hurt more than he wanted. Pond kept stealing glances at Phuwin not daring to say anything. They arrived at Jeff's apartment Penthouse, his father had given him an extra keycard .

In Jeff's Penthouse

"Is this your place?" Pond asked as he followed Phuwin inside the place. "It's my dad's." Phuwin said as he sat on the couch after putting his backpack and laptop bag by the kitchen counter. "It's a nice place." Pond replied as he sat on the couch next to Phuwin's. It was dead silent, neither of them saying anything or looking at each other.

"Pond what do you want?" Phuwin said softly as he looked at Pond. "Phu I am sorry." Pond said with his eyes now glued to Phuwin's. "Sorry? You betrayed me and I know you don't feel sorry for the way you hurt me." Phuwin responded calmly but his hands were trembling. "I...I am, I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally hurt you in any shape of form." Pond responded with a shaky voice.

"But you did! You did when you ran to her the moment we called it quits. You did when you betrayed me!" Phuwin yelled blinking away tears. "I never cheated on you Phu, please you have to believe me." Pond plead with him. "You know through your supposed friendship with her, I kept quiet. I pretended not to see what was happening. How you two would text late at night, even with me there with you." Phuwin said with a cracked voice, the tears he tried to blink away now pouring from his eyes.

Pond kept quiet, you could see he was hurting seeing Phuwin cry and knowing he was the cause behind those tears. He wanted to hug him, comfort him but he knew Phuwin would not allow him. "You called me paranoid whenever I called you out for that. You gave me your word that you were just friends. "

"We were. You have to believe me Phu." Pond plead. "You know how I teared her apart? Demonizing as if she was the problem in our relationship. I thought I was the problem, maybe I was too clingy, too bossy or too selfish " Phuwin said with his voice cracking and he was trembling.

Phuwin felt he like couldn't breathe, there was a sharp pain in his chest. He tried to inhale but he couldn't, as hard as he tried he couldn't it was like he forgot how to. His vision was blurred because of all the tears streaming down his face. He grabbed his chest, sobbing, hyperventilating. 

Pond couldn't hold himself anymore, he quickly encircled his arms around Phuwin rubbing his back. "Breathe baby okay, it's okay. Just take a deep breathe in and out." He said as he quided Phuwin to catch his breathe. "You are doing so good baby, just like that." He said still rubbing Phuwin's back.

Phuwin found himself in his ex-lover's embrace. He buried his face on his chest, his tears now staining his white shirt. He  held him tightly. Inhaling his scent, the scent that was still the same as he always remembered. He felt safe even though he hated to admit it.

"I hate you. I hate you so much." Phuwin said through his sobs. Pond kept quiet still holding Phuwin tightly in his arms. "I hate that I don't even hate you at all... that no matter how I try to I can't get myself to hate you." Phuwin continued through his sobs. "I hate you for making me love you."

"I am sorry Phu." Pond said softly still not letting go of Phuwin who was now trying to squim his way out of his grasp. "I know I hurt you. I know when Fah and I got together after our break up it reaffirmed your suspicious about us... but I promise I was never with her when we were together. I never cheated on you Phu. I would never do that because you are so fucking precious to me." Pond said tightening his arms around Phuwin was still sobbing.

"Isn't it too convenient that you two got together that you got together shortly after we broke up." Phuwin said still trying to squim his way out of Pond's grasp who was holding him tighter with his every attempt. "Even if you didn't cheat on me you still betrayed me! You lied to me!" Phuwin said but Pond kept quiet. "Let me go! Pond Naravit let me go!" Phuwin yelled still trying to free himself.

"I love you Phu. I hate myself for letting you go, for being too selfish. For letting my stupid ego get in the way of our love. I should have stayed, that night I should have stayed." Pond said sniffling tears now streaming down his face. Hearing what Pond had to say, Phuwin stopped trying to break free from Pond's embrace. He succumbed himself into his embrace. He hated how weak he was when it came to him, he hated how he would give in to him. Maybe that's why their relationship didn't work out. One was giving too much and the other wasn't giving enough.

They stayed in each other's arms. Tears flowing down their faces. Neither of them saying anything.
.
.
.
.
Thank you for reading this chapter. Feedback is always appreciated. I will try to update as soon as I can. Rak na jub jub 🌻🌞.