Friends, Physics and Fallon

Chapter 27

Jimmy sat in his tiny jail cell in the secret dungeon of the White House.  He had a pounding headache from running into Tim.  Jeez, that man was huge.  There was no question, he lifts, bro.  Jimmy realized that his phone was still in his pocket.  He tried to reach it, but he was still handcuffed.  "Dang it."  he whispered.  Just then, Jimmy's stomach growled.  "I am soooo hungry!  Oh wait, there's some zucchini on the ground, if only I could reach it..."  Jimmy reached with his foot and he kicked the zucchini towards himself.  Then he got on his hands and knees and picked the zucchini up off the floor with his mouth, like a puppy.  "Gross, I feel like Bo right now."  Jimmy said as he crawled back over to the corner of the cell.  Suddenly, Tim appeared in the doorway.  "Hello, Mr. Broberg..."  Jimmy didn't respond.  "I'm talking to you!"  Tim yelled.  Jimmy stayed silent.  "HEY!"  Tim kicked the bars of the cell so hard that they rattled.  Jimmy flinched, but didn't say a word.  "Whatever, your loss.  I was going to try and keep you company for a while, but I guess you're more of a zero human interaction type of guy.  Well, here's Bo.  Barack told me that he likes being with the prisoners, so he will keep you company.  I can even take your handcuffs off so you can pet him."  "Wow, star treatment!"  Jimmy replied as he crawled over to Tim, who took Jimmy's handcuffs off.  "It speaks!"  Tim said as he put Bo down in the cell and closed the door.  Jimmy rolled his eyes.  Tim went back up the stairs, leaving Jimmy and Bo alone.  Bo ran over to Jimmy and licked his face.  "Well, at least someone likes me around here!  Bo, do you think I conspired with Russia?  One lick is yes, two licks is no."  Bo cocked his head as he listened to Jimmy.  He leaned down and licked Jimmy's hand twice.  Jimmy giggled and gave Bo a kiss on the head.  "Next question, do you know who I am?  Am I John Broberg or Jimmy Fallon?  One lick for John, two licks for Jimmy."  Bo considered this and, for the second time, licked Jimmy's hand twice.  "If only you could speak!"  Jimmy said sadly, knowing that America wouldn't believe a dog, even if he was Bo Obama.  Bo and Jimmy sat in silence for a while.  Well, it wasn't really silent because Bo was panting super loudly.  Just then, Jimmy realized that his hands were free, so he could get his phone out and call for help!  "Oh shoot, I better make this quick, I'm at 20 percent!"  Jimmy scrolled through his contacts until he reached Foamy's name.  He called his wife and it went to voicemail.  "Shoot."  Jimmy whispered.  He scrolled down a little farther and clicked on Higgins' contact.  Voicemail.  "Doesn't anyone answer their phones anymore?"  Jimmy scrolled back up and clicked on Darth Vader's contact.  Darth answered the phone.  "Jimmy?"  he said.  "Yeah it's me, look, you have to help me!  I'm in a tiny cell at the white house...help..."  Jimmy dropped his phone and laid on the floor of the cell, coughing violently.  He felt the hands come off of his neck.  He got his breathing under control and looked up to see Tim standing above him.  "Oh...it's you again."  Jimmy said.  Tim reached down and grabbed Jimmy's phone, but not before Jimmy's hand grabbed Tim's in a death grip.  "Are you part boa constrictor?"  Tim asked as he tried to pull Jimmy's hand off of his.  "Yeah."  Jimmy said as he continued to hold onto Tim's hand.  By now, Bo had joined in too.  He bit Tim's hand, and blood poured out onto the floor.  Jimmy smiled at Bo and the two of them kept on pulling.  Jimmy tried to reach for his phone, but Tim wouldn't have it.  He pulled out his gun and shot a bullet through Jimmy's hand.  Jimmy screamed in pain, blood squirted everywhere and Tim laughed, dangling Jimmy's phone through the bars of the cell.  "That'll teach ya!"  Tim said as he walked away, whistling.  Jimmy took off his sweatshirt and put it on his hand to try and stop the bleeding.  After a while, Bo grabbed Jimmy's sweatshirt in his mouth and pulled it off Jimmy's hand.  "Hey, Bo, what are you doing?  Give that back!"  Jimmy tried to grab his sweatshirt out of Bo's mouth, but it was of no use.  Bo carried the sweatshirt away to the corner of the cell, put it down and walked back over to Jimmy.  He leaned down and licked Jimmy's hand, which was still covered in blood.  Jimmy winced in pain, but appreciated Bo's help.  "Thanks, pal."  Jimmy said, rubbing Bo's head with his free hand.  Bo must have gotten tired of licking Jimmy's hand after a while, because he went back over to the corner of the cell and retrieved Jimmy's sweatshirt.  Jimmy had fallen asleep, so Bo put the sweatshirt on Jimmy's hand and curled up next to Jimmy.