Friends, Physics and Fallon

Chapter 36

Jimmy stopped running and leaned against a wall, grimacing in pain.  "Don't mess with people who are armed with NASA model rockets, those things hurt!"  Jimmy said to himself as he breathed heavily.  He gingerly walked to a bathroom and looked in the mirror.  He had a black eye and a fat lip.  Jimmy giggled at himself and was about to walk out when he heard someone grunting in one of the stalls.  "Get...out...!"  Someone was having some trouble pooping.  "Get outta me!!!"  Jeez!  "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Jimmy tried not to laugh as he listened to the person's struggle.  "Ahhh...finally..."  The person said.  Then, the toilet flushed and Jimmy tried to run out, but he tripped over his shoe lace and faceplanted.  "Dang it!"  He whispered to himself.  Just then, Jimmy felt himself get pulled upright by his ears.  "Thank you...oh, it's you..."  He said as he turned around to see Tim.  "You need double knots next time, buddy!"  Tim said to Jimmy.  "Well you need a laxative!"  Jimmy replied as he tried to run out of the bathroom.  But it was too late.  Tim had grabbed Jimmy by the collar of his shirt.  He pinned Jimmy against the wall.  "No one can ever know about my constipation, ya hear?"  "Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of.  Every man has his weakness.  It just so happens that yours is a bit...um...different.  It's not every day you hear a big, tough secret service agent screaming like a little girl in the bathroom!"  This sent Tim over the top.  He punched Jimmy in the face and threw him down.  Jimmy stood up and kicked Tim in the balls.  Tim howled in pain and Jimmy tried to run, but Tim had grabbed him again.  He dragged Jimmy into a bathroom stall and tried to shove his face in the toilet.  Jimmy stood his ground against the strong force of Tim's log-sized arms.  He found some toilet paper and stuffed it down Tim's throat.  Tim fell over, coughing up the toilet paper.  Jimmy had run out of the bathroom.  Tim saw a yittle blur heading down the hall, and ran to try and catch up with it.  He pulled out his walkie-talkie to alert everyone that he had found John Broberg.  More and more secret service men appeared, and they trapped Jimmy.  "Eyyyy, Tim, ya found him!"  One of the secret service men, DeQuan LaShawn said while giving Tim a pat on the back.  Another secret service agent pulled out his walkie-talkie thing and called Barack.  "Ey, Mr. Prez, we found John Broberg!"  "Well done, Rayshawn!  You're getting a big raise!"  Barack's voice said over the speaker.  Tim got angry after hearing this.  "Mr. President, I'm the one who found him, not Rayshawn!  I should get the raise!"  "Ey, Tim, that's Rayshawn Jayshawn III to you, big boy!  Only Mr. Prez can call me Rayshawn!"  "I don't care what your name is, I am the one who found John Broberg, I get the raise!"  "ENOUGH!"  Barack's voice came booming through the speaker.  "You're all demoted to servants if you keep this up!"  Tim and Rayshawn Jayshawn III stopped fighting, straightened their posture, and saluted like soldiers.  DeQuan LaShawn spoke up.  "Ey why you two always fightin'?  This is America, we don't fight!  Ya got that?  We the secret service, man, we more sophisticated than that!"  "Sorry DeQuan..."  Tim and Rayshawn Jayshawn III said in unison.  "Okay, now let's decide what we gon' do with our prisoner here..."  DeQuan LaShawn said as he turned around to face Jimmy, who was gone.  "WHO LET HIM ESCAPE?"  Tim yelled.  "I didn't you did, man!  You was too busy worryin' 'bout yo raise that he done got away!"  Tim punched Rayshawn Jayshawn III in the face.  He got angry and punched Tim back.  "Ey!  Enough of that, we gotta go catch this Broberg dude, who you two let escape 'cause you was too dang busy worryin' 'bout who's better!  Now we gotta go find him!"  DeQuan LaShawn yelled.  The secret service men took off down the hall, looking for Jimmy.  They finally spotted him running down the hall after running for about an hour.  "We found you now..."  Jimmy turned around to see the secret service men coming straight at him.  THUD.