Friends, Physics and Fallon

Chapter 55

"Today is Friday and that's usually when I catch up on some personal stuff, I check my inbox, return some emails, and of course, I send out my weekly thank you notes.  I was running a bit behind so I was wondering, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to write out my thank you notes right now...is that cool?"  The audience started clapping and cheering very loudly.  Jimmy waited for them to shut up.  "Well, actually, I won't be writing them, because, as many of you know, I got shot in the hand!"  Jimmy held up his hand for the audience to see.  They "awww-ed."  "So, my beautiful wife will be writing them for me tonight.  Everyone please welcome Foamy Fallon!"  The audience cheered and Jimmy stood up from his desk so that Foamy could sit there.  Jimmy sat on the couch as Foamy did the thank you notes, which were very funny.  All the jokes were a success and the audience really enjoyed them.  Foamy walked off the stage after she was finished, and Jimmy returned to his seat.  "She's always wanted to do that.  Whenever she has to write a thank you card, she actually plays the thank you note writing music on her phone!"  The audience laughed.  The Roots laughed too.  "Yeah.  She's great.  Now, it's time for a lip sync battle!"  Jimmy walked over to the stage and explained how the ten person lip sync battle was going to work.  "So, performing first, please welcome Michelle Obama and Charlie Montang!"  Michelle and Charlie walked/wheeled onto the stage from behind the curtain.  They performed "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.  They actually did pretty well, it was impressive but Charlie fell out of his wheelchair a few times.  So they got docked a lot of points, they probably weren't going to win.  No surprise there.  After they were done, Alyssa and Rachel performed "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette.  It was super, super good.  They did a great job, but it was kind of ironic because it started raining and it was someone's wedding day.  Then the bride came and shut off the rain so it stopped.  Next, Barack and Maggie performed "Bo$$" by Fifth Harmony.  Barack got really passionate when the Michelle Obama part came on.  The audience got a kick out of it and Michelle was standing on the side of the stage shaking her head and giggling.  Then, Jackie and Foamy performed a mashup of all the songs from Fifty Shades of Grey.  It was amazing, and the choreography was simply...actually, you don't need to know.  You probably don't want to either.  Ahem...after...that...Jimmy and Justin performed a lip sync battle version of History of Rap.  Amazing.  The audience went cray.  After that, all the performers came back onto the stage and suddenly Carson Daly appeared and announced the winner.  "And the winners of the Lip Sync Battle are..."  Everyone was nervous.  The audience yelled out who they thought the winner should be.  They mostly yelled out Jimmy and Justin's names, they were easily the best.  They were gonna win for sure.  "Michelle Obama and Charlie Montang!"  The audience went insane and threw confetti in the air because they were very surprised and they were pissed because that's not who should have won.  They threw rotten tomatoes on stage and some people who were in the front row got onto the stage and started attacking everyone.  Carson had to throw them.  Then everyone went behind the curtain to safety.  Big security dudes who big arms like Tim, escorted everyone out of the studio and drop kicked them out the window.  Speaking of Tim, is he dead?  Like what happened to him, like where is he?  I don't even know, I'm making all of this up on the fly.  I mean, all of this actually happened, but uh...yeah this is true.  I'm not making this up.  Anyway, Barack, Michelle, Jimmy, Foamy, Justin, Charlie, Jackie, Maggie, Rachel and Alyssa were all chillin' in Jimmy's dressing room.  The rest of the show had to be canceled because it just got waaaay out of control out there.  Michelle and Charlie were so shocked that they won that they couldn't speak.  They were mesmerized by their shiny trophy.  Michelle threw up because her eyes got too big.  Charlie drooled all over the trophy.  Shiny.  "Let's let them have some alone time with their trophy..."  Jimmy said, staring at Michelle and Charlie as he started walking out of his dressing room.  Everyone had to change because they were all covered in rotten tomato juice and stuff.  "What should we do now?"  Justin asked.  "We could go to Jersey Floor again, Justin should experience it!"  Higgins said.  "Woah, Higgins, where did you come from?"  "There."  Higgins said, and pointed to a secret portal.  "What the heck?  Why is there a random portal here?"  Alyssa asked.  "Where does it take you?"  Rachel asked.  "Just a beach, with coconut trees and stuff like that.  It's really nice, but I'd rather go to Jersey Floor and party!  How 'bout you, J-Bro?"  Jimmy thought for a moment.  "Actually, you just painted a nice verbal picture of that beach, if it's anything like your description, I think that sounds great!  I'm goin' in!"  Jimmy yelled and stepped into the portal.  He disappeared.  Foamy jumped in after him.  "Well, I guess we're goin' to the beach!"  Maggie yelled and leapt into the portal.  Barack jumped in after Maggie.  Then Rachel.  Then Alyssa.  Then Jackie.  Then Justin.  Soon, everyone disappeared, leaving Higgins all by his lonesome.  He frowned and turned towards the portal.  "You guys are no fun!  I'm going to Jersey Floor by myself!"  he yelled and got in the elevator.  "Wait, we'll go to Jersey Floor with you, Higgins!"  Michelle said as she ran towards the elevator, pushing Charlie in his wheelchair.  Higgins held the door open for them.  "Yay!  I have friends!"  Higgins yelled as the door closed.