~The First Step~ a Hermitcraft AU

Chapter 37

basically a carry on of chapter 36 cuz word count

wc:1254

"This is my room," Grian explained, plopping himself on the bed.

He watched X, Mumbo, and Scar get themselves situated, with X in Xayla's normal chair and Mumbo and Scar on the floor.

"So," X said, looking around the small room and frowning a bit. "Is this an... infirmary room?"

Grian felt his smile flicker. His back seemed to throb a bit more, a hand stretching back to feel the comfort of the wings and only meeting air. "Yes," he replied quietly. "I, uh... didn't escape the Watchers fast enough before they punished me." His voice dropped in volume until the last part was barely a whisper.

The tension in the room was palpable. Scar and Mumbo didn't even try to hide their horror, eyes the sizes of dinner plates and mouths open. X seemed to struggle to keep his composure, fists clenching and unclenching. Grian wasn't sure if they knew what exactly had happened to him, and to his wings, but he didn't bother explaining.

"I'm glad you guys are here," Grian whispered finally, looking down at fidgeting hands. "It was hard not knowing if you were okay. Especially after..." his eyes met Mumbo's. "Are you okay? Did they touch you?" Suddenly his heart began to beat faster. If they had done anything to Mumbo... all hell would break loose, that was for sure.

"I'm okay," Mumbo said weakly with a small smile. "After they took you away they kind of just left me in there."

Grian let out a sigh or relief, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's, ah, good," he muttered. "Really good..."

After a beat, Scar stood up, springing forward to take Grian's hand. "Well it's okay now," he said fiercely, unnatural green eyes taking on a glow. "We can go home. We can leave all of this behind. Go into a new world, just- start over."

Grian stared at him for a second, before shaking his head slowly. "I'm not leaving. And besides I- I can't exactly just leave them behind. They follow you-" His voice cracked and he swallowed. "i t's not like I want to be here, anyway. If I could leave everything behind, I would, but-" He paused. "I can't leave."

"Why not?" X spoke up. He took off his helmet, his own soft purple eyes meeting Grian's. "I'll keep you safe. You know I can."

In his mind, Grian saw the black streak of hair, the sparks of purple, the mask. "You can't," he whispered, voice hoarse. "And- anyway-" He stood up, cloak ruffling. "You can help me." Grian felt his eyes gleam, felt the feeling of hope. "Join my cause. Join the Listeners. And with a powerful admin like you, maybe we can get more help from other admins!" He held out his palms, a smile creeping onto his face.

"No," X said firmly. He was also standing, and so was Mumbo. "It's not safe. I'm not letting my server members get into this, and I don't want you in this either."

Anger stirred up deep in Grian's gut, and he felt his mouth twist into something darker. "This isn't about my safety, it's about this whole place- all of the people, not about me. I can't just leave these people, you have no idea-"

"You have no idea about my job," X growled back, jabbing a finger into Grian's chest. "I sympathize with the people, but I have a duty to my server, and to my admins."

"I have no idea about your job?" Grian said quietly, dangerously. Energy buzzed in his fingertips, zipping around his hands with purple sparks that he barely suppressed. "Do you forget where I came from? Do you forget Evo?" His voice raised to a shout. "Don't tell me off for not knowing what it's like to be responsible for everyone. Because I sacrificed everything. I gave myself up to the Watchers, I gave myself up to the Watchers, to keep my people safe."

Grian sucked in another shaky breath. "And then they killed them all. In front of me! And they all thought I had abandoned them, left them to die while I gloated with their murderers. Do you know what it's like?" He jabbed his own finger into X's chest, and the other stumbled back. "To have everyone you risked your life for think that you abandoned them?" Tears flowed freely down his face, eyes clouding with water that he tried to blink away. "You may call me a lot of things, but you can't call me a coward."

His chest heaved with barely kept down sobs, cheeks burning with both embarrassment and pride.

X took a step forward again. "I don't take you for a coward, but I'd rather be a coward than a fool," he said quietly. "I owe my server their safety. It's the least I can do-"

"So you'd just leave these people?" Grian hissed.

"Unless the situation was that dire..." X hesitated. "I'm sorry Grian, but I have no reason to help them if it puts my server in danger."

"Do you not understand?" Grian said numbly. "The government- the Elders, and their Leader- It's all crashing down on top of the people's heads! The Listeners can't do anything because the people are too scared, and the Elders keep everyone under control under penalty of death."

"Grian..."

"I was there!" Grian's back suddenly burned with the loss of his beautiful, beautiful wings. The taste of freedom that came in the form of sky and cloud had turned dull. "They took- they took my wings," he finally gasped.

Hands were grasping his shoulders, and next thing Grian knew, X was turning him around and peeking under the collar of his cloak. There was a sharp inhale.

There were bandages still wrapped around his back, but Grian was relatively sure that he'd probably torn something while training the fighters, so there were possibly a few stains. Just the sight of the bandages alone were probably enough to prove it to X.

It clearly wasn't enough, because X had taken out a small knife and had it poised to slice through the bandages. Grian's heart rate spiked seeing the little metal blade so close to him, and he whirled around, snatching X's wrist.

"Don't-" Grian swallowed. "Don't."

X's eyes seemed almost crazed, but Grian looked a little closer, and he understood what it was. Fear. Resentment. Disbelief. Shock. Rage.

"It's done now," Grian whispered, letting go of X's wrist. "I can't get them back. The wounds will heal, and I'll- I'll get used to it eventually." He shook his head. "It isn't important right now. What's important is that we need to help these people, because people are dying unfairly, and we need to do something."

X crossed his arms, brows furrowing. "Look what it's already done to you. You think this is good for anybody?" He gestured around the room. "You'll probably hate me for saying this, but- maybe it's best for you and all of these people if you just... don't do anything."

Grian wasn't even angry. He just felt... tired. "Yeah?"

"Look, it's clearly not helping you, and, maybe if we just follow the Watchers, everyone will... survive."

"Will you at least... stay for a while with me?" Grian asked, looking up into X's eyes, pleading. "Just see what these people are like. See what their lives are like."

X pursed his lips and finally sighed. "I will."

Grian bowed his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Thank you."

yeppers

this is an apologetic double update cuz it felt kinda bland to just put chap 36 by itself... so bonus! haha

thank you for reading! have a good day or night, wherever you are!

-ete