Supernatural Oneshots (take 2)

Touch Starved (or whatever they call it) -Destiel

Dean and Cas lay in their shared bed together, Cas humming along to one of Dean's songs playing on the radio as he reads. Dean loves this, the domesticity of the two since Cas professed his love for Dean.

Dean smiles as he hears Cas' deep hums and he looks over at his... boyfriend? partner? lover? He isn't really sure, but he knows that Cas is his.

Dean leans over to Cas, shutting his book, but making sure to remember a page number for him. He notes that in his mind, he's never done something so simple that had so much meaning behind it before.

"Dean!" Cas protests, opening his book back and trying to find his page.

"204." Dean says simply, letting Cas put his bookmark back, shutting it again.

"Cas.. I- Cas what.. uhm.." Dean stutters, obviously nervous at the question that he wants to ask: What are they?

"Dean, what is it? You can say it." Cas says, thoughtfully listening to Dean, turned on his side, with his head propped up on his arm, and his book sitting by his thighs.

"I know that what we have... the feelings— I mean —they're real and they're amazing and I love them, but.. but what are we?" Dean asks, as nervous as ever.

"Dean, you know I love you with my whole heart, I always have and I always will. I don't know what that makes us, but I do know that I'm never letting you go again. Ever." Cas says simply, not missing a beat once. Dean admires that about Cas. He can say whatever is on his mind without being embarrassed or hesitant, because why would he be? He's an angel who knows so little about humanity, about human emotions, besides one main one. Love. He knows he loves Dean.

"I- I love you too, Cas, you know that, but.. but are we.. boyfriends?" Dean asks with hesitance. He doesn't want to scare Cas off with a label but he really wants to know.

"If that is the term you would like, then yes. If not, then no. I will be whatever you want me to be to you. I know very little about this, I'm very inexperienced, as you know, but everything I feel for you, I know is set in stone." Cas says simply. Dean smiles and nods, leaning forward to catch Cas' lips with his own.

Cas smiles into the kiss, they've done this many times since that night with Billie and the empty. He's so thankful that the empty missed him and took only Billie with it as it left.

Cas puts both hands on Dean's head and Dean let's himself be held by Cas. He's never really done that before, and the feeling is unmatched by anything he's ever felt. Cas moves his arms around Dean's shoulders and pulls him in closer as they kiss. Dean suddenly feels a wave of longing, earning for Cas, come over him. He wants Cas to hold him. All the time. No matter who or what is around. He wants Cas to hold him and protect him and cherish him every single day until the day he dies.

Cas pulls back and Dean opens his eyes, his sight blurry. He feels the tears coming and he can't quite place why. He's not sad, he's not angry, he's just so happy and wants Cas wrapped around him, but that feeling of loneliness, loss, emptiness is still there.

Dean closes his eyes, trying to blink back the tears, but Cas sees one fall as his eyelids push it out. "Dean, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Cas asks, wiping Dean's tear away with his thumb. He goes to pull his hand away from Dean's face and Dean shakes his head in protest. He pulls Cas' hand back to his face and sets it there, feeling the warmth of the man he loves against him.

"No- just.. fuck- give me a minute." Dean croaks out, the tears flowing out of his closed eyes steadily now.

Cas nods, pulling Dean closer to him, hugging him tightly, every limb wrapped around the man. Dean lets himself feel, something he rarely ever does, and Cas can see that as the tears start to flow more freely.

"Dean, I-" Cas starts but Dean shakes his head again, making Cas stop.

"Just keep hugging me. Please." Dean says and Cas nods, pulling Dean into his chest and kissing his head over and over again. Dean cries and cries until he can't anymore. He just lets himself feel everything he's hidden for months, years. He allows himself to let it out, to let Cas see him in his most vulnerable state that he hasn't shown for as long as he can remember.

When Dean's reduced to broken cries coming from his mouth with no tears to back it up, Cas pulls back slightly to look at Dean's face. Dean looks up at Cas through wet eyelashes and tries to compose himself.

"I- fuck. I'm sorry." Dean says and Cas shakes his head, telling Dean to stop.

"Don't apologize. Did I do something to cause this?" Cas asks and Dean shakes his head instantly.

"No, no Cas. You- you're perfect. I just- I almost lost you. You almost got taken away from me because you were trying to save me. I- I haven't felt like this for someone for as long as I can remember. I just want you." Dean lets out. He wants Cas to know that he didn't cause this breakdown. This isn't his fault. It's just because he's finally letting himself feel because he can trust Cas enough to let himself feel. "I want you." Dean repeats, making Cas kiss his forehead.

"You have me." Cas says simply and Dean feels tears run down his cheeks again.

"No, I... I just want you to keep touching me. I want to feel your hands on me. Your lips. I want to allow myself to be happy with you." Dean says, trying to explain what this is even about.

"Are you not happy with me already?" Cas asks, softly. He's not mad at Dean, he just wants to know what's causing this.

"No! No I am! I just.. god, how do I even put this into words?" Dean asks himself and Cas stays silent, listening to Dean trying to pour his heart out. "I just haven't felt like this before. I- I guess I'm.. touch starved or whatever they call it. I don't know. I just, I want you. Dammit!" Dean says, feeling the hot, wetness rolling down his face once again.

Cas nods, understanding what Dean's trying to express. He wants Cas to touch him, to feel him. He wants Cas to do what nobody else ever has.

"I love you more than anything, Dean." Cas says, pressing his lips to the hunter's.

Dean cries through the kiss and Cas runs his hands along Dean's body, letting his body heat and grace roll into Dean's skin. Dean let's Cas press his tongue into his mouth. He lets Cas do whatever he can to Dean, he wants Cas to do everything and so much more. He wants Cas to always have his hands on him, even if it's just as simple as a hand on the shoulder, or holding hands, or elbows brushing when they sit down. He needs that touch. That intimacy.

Dean stops crying eventually and Cas keeps on kissing him softly, no longer with tongue, and that's okay with Dean. Dean wants whatever Cas is willing to give him. When Cas finally pulls back, Dean breathing in the scent of his boyfriend, Dean whispers, "I love you. Thank you."

Cas smiles. He knows how hard it was for Dean to say those words the first time he did, and it's become so easy now. Like it's meant to be said between them. Which, Cas thinks, it is meant to be said. "I love you more than words could ever tell." Cas says and Dean nods, burying his face into Cas' neck, breathing in Cas.

Cas puts his hands around Dean, not caring that he's now laying on his book, and runs his hands calmly along Dean's back and sides. "I want you to tell me, from now on, if you ever feel 'touch starved.' I want to be there and I want to help you. I know how hard it is for you to allow yourself to express your feelings, and I know you hate to do it, but I want you to be able to do it with me." Cas says, feeling Dean laugh against his neck. Cas will admit, saying that he wants Dean to 'be able to do it' with him does sound dirty.

Dean smiles and kisses Cas' perfect skin. "I will. I want you." Dean says and Cas nods.

"I know. I want you, too." Cas says and Dean let's out a sigh, his eyes drooping shut and his breath evening out. "I love you, Dean. Goodnight." Cas says, using his grace to turn off the bedside lamp that he had on for his reading.

Dean smiles subconsciously and mutters, "I love you, Angel."

Cas smiles and holds Dean tight all throughout the night. He wants Dean to wake up and still feel Cas' hands on him. Still feel the warmth of Cas' body on his own. He wants Dean. And Dean wants him. And he loves Dean. And Dean loves him. Life couldn't be more perfect.