Supernatural Oneshots (take 2)

The Side Effects of a Witch - Destiel and Sabriel

!Dirty talk, some smut!
Thank you for the suggestion mightynovak

Dean and Sam are on a hunt, as usual, but this one is a witch hunt, which they haven't been on in a while. Nowadays, they're too busy dealing with almost apocalypses, demons, angels, and Chuck. They thought that a witch hunt could be good to wind themselves down. Witches are nasty things, but they're fairly easy to get rid of.

When Dean and Sam pull into the town that seems like it's dealing with a witch, their suspicions are quickly confirmed. Everyone in town looks affected. Some people can only walk backwards, annoyingly. Some are just lying dead on the side of the streets, having coughed up razor blades, whole hair brushes, knives, you name it. Others, though, are stuck with telling the truth about everything, which Dean's particularly worried about.

When they walk into a diner that's somehow still open, they see everyone in there is normal, but a lot are sleeping or agitated. "What's going on here?" Dean asks the woman at the front desk.

She looks up at Dean and says, "You're hot." Dean raises his eyebrows and laughs. "I don't know why I keep doing that, ugh! I'm sorry. All of these people are claiming that they can't leave. We've tried to kick them out but they physically can't go through the doors." She says, blushing the whole time.

"Damn." Dean says and the lady looks over at Sam.

"We should have a threesome." She says, and then covers her face with both hands. "I'm so sorry!!" She apologizes immediately after.

"We're brothers, so we're gonna have to pass on that one." Sam says, laughing. Dean and Sam both know that this is the witch's spell doing this, but this poor lady is just blurting out whatever comes to her mind.

The woman walks away, obviously embarrassed, but Dean and Sam sit down at a table near a man who looks like he hasn't slept in days. "Good thing this place is a 24 hour diner. These people look miserable." Dean comments to Sam, both still looking around at everything.

A man walks up to their table and takes their orders, walking backwards back to the kitchen. He seems fine besides the walking backwards, but Sam and Dean don't bat an eye at it. "So, where should we start?" Sam asks, pulling out his laptop.

"Maybe see if we can find someone who hasn't been affected by all this. I mean, it's a small town, surely it won't be too hard, right?" Dean suggests, but he was wrong. The next two days they search and search for this witch, but they haven't found it yet.

On the third day of the case, Sam and Dean are walking down the side of the road, looking for anyone that's unfamiliar when a gorgeous lady runs right into Dean. "Excuse me." She says politely, eyeing Dean up. Dean shakes his head and keeps walking.

"Wait." Sam says, turning around and looking back, trying to find the woman, but she is gone. "Dude! She didn't have any of the symptoms! I bet you that was her." Sam says, checking his pockets and finding a hex bag. He pulls it out and shows Dean.

"Shit. What'd it do to us?" Dean asks, pulling out a hex bag that was in his pocket too.

"I don't know. Walk." Sam says, and Dean walks forward perfectly fine. "Okay do you feel like you're gonna throw up razors or something?" Sam asks and Dean's eyes go wide, shaking his head.

"Wait! I know you say your favorite singer is Elvis, but who is it really?" Dean says, smirking.

Sam shakes his head and sighs. "You just said it, Celine Dion. No- No I meant Celine Dion. Shit." Sam says, realizing which part of the spell they got.

Dean laughs and points at Sam, walking back to their motel. Dean decides that they need help on this case, but he really doesn't want to call Cas. That would end very awkward.