Fantasy Kind Of Story

Chapter 27: All Hail The Goblin Queen

Kiburi attempted to hold in his laughter, but he failed, he fell to his knees and broke into a fit of laughter.

"Uhm, this is not what I expected", Silvio said puzzled.

"Marya, what's going on?", Lara inquired.

"I'm the Goblin Queen now", Marya grumbled.

"Okay, but why?", Lara asked again.

"Apparently, since im short, this Goblin King over here-", Marya began but was interrupted.

"That aint Bowie!", Kiburi called out, snapping out of his fit and wiping the tears from his eyes.

"-As I was saying, this Goblin King decided that I was the prettiest goblin he has ever seen, so they kidnapped me, put me in these clothes, and we are getting married today", Marya complained.

"Right, but why are we here?", Lara questioned.

"Oh yeah, I think they intend to sacrifice you all for the wedding", Marya stated apathetically.

"What!? Have you tried explaining that you AREN'T a goblin?", Lara asked worriedly.

"Course I did, but these idiots dont speak basic, they speak...whatever it is they speak, I have no clue", Marya explained, motioning to all of the goblins hopping and flailing their hands around while making sounds that could not be recognized as anything other than noises to them.

"I speak goblin!", Silvio announced.

"Wow, that's a very random and pointless skill that would never have been helpful if not for us being in this exact scenario", Kiburi stated, pointing out the absurdly opportunistic nature of it all.

"I took a class", Silvio explained.

"You took every class", Lara said patronizingly.

"Just let me try to get through to them", Silvio said as he began to flail around and make noises similar to what the goblins were making, all the goblin stared at him in silence, the others stiffled their laughter, trying not to interrupt him.

Once Silvio had finished, they all stopped and waited to see what would happen, the goblins stood silent and looked at eachother,  after a brief pause all the goblins pulled out their weapons and became furious, screaming and approaching them menacingly.

"What did you say to them!?", Lara shouted.

"I thought I said that Marya wasn't a goblin and that this all just a big misunderstanding?!", Silvio stammered.

"You thought?!", Lara shrieked.

"Well I think I might have accidentaly called them a slur?", Silvio answered softly.

"Damn it all! I'll try, hey idiots, your queen is speaking, over here!", Marya hollered, she began to speak slowly while doing hand gestures.

"No harm, friends stupid", Marya said slowly, the goblins seamed receptive, they all nodded in unison and mimicked the motions.

"Yes, leave friends be, me and friends go now, okay?", Marya said, the goblins nodded again and pulled out their weapons, pointed at them and smiled while nodding.

"Nooooo", Marya shook her head in disaproval, the goblins continued to nod and brandish their weapons.

"This isnt working, okay let's try this, see weapon? Drop weapon", Marya massaged her head in irritation, before holding up her weapon and dropping on the floor for demonstration.

The goblins saw this, looked at their weapons, and slowly dropped them on the floor, all the weapons made a loud clanging noise that echoed when they all dropped them together, the goblins eyes grew wide and smiles formed on their faces as they began to all pick up their weapons and threw them onto the floor repeatedly, jumping with joy.

"Uuuugggghhhh!!!", Marya groaned as she threw herself back into her throne.

"Keep going, maybe you can teach them to become a goblin orchestra!", Kiburi called out sarcastically.

"Alright, my patience has officially worn out, death to the monarchy", Marya said as she tore off a large bone from her throne and whacked the Goblin King in the face before dashing off towards her friends.

The Goblin King was furious, he waved his staff into the air and pointed it at them, he called out a rather aggressive noise that can only be assumed as not happy, because when he did all the other goblins starting chasing after them.

"Sorry, I'm just not emotionally available right now!", Marya shouted to the Goblin King as they ran off.

"You could have let him down easy you know?", Kiburi said to Marya.

"Yeah but it's so much easier to just ghost people, besides, being a runaway bride was on my bucket list", Marya said as she tossed of the goblin wedding dress that was over her clothes.

The five of them raced out of the cavern and took a turn into the forest until the goblin horde lost track of them, once they met a safe clearing they all stopped to catch their breath.

"The last few days have-huff-not been kind to me", Silvio said through exasperated breaths.

"Okay, now where the hell are we this time?", Marya demanded, pulling out the map she stole from the Endora and unfolding it.

"Well damn, look's like the goblin's did all the work for us!", Marya said in pleasent surprise.

"What do you mean?", Lara asked.

"Well, the Bandit Camp isn't far from here, in fact, we just keep going in the same direction were headed and we should get there in about an hour or so", Marya explained.

"Awesome! Alright gang, let's get going, no time to lose!", Lara declared excitedly as she led the group forwards.