More 2YEON Oneshots

Dirty Little Secret

If anyone were to ask Jeongyeon how this happened, she couldn't really give an answer. Maybe it was the drinks. Maybe it was her curiosity. Or maybe it was something that had been building for years. What she does know is she doesn't want to stop.

No matter how wrong this is.

The clock ticks closer to midnight and she knows any minute now Nayeon will be at her door. She always comes at midnight. The older woman is a creature of habit.

Same coffee every morning. Same takeout order from the food stall across from Jeongyeon's building. Same shirt she steals from Jeongyeon's closet when she stays over.

Same way she presses her herself into Jeongyeon's body and kisses her when she gets through the door.

Nayeon is a creature of habit.

Jeongyeon's heart skips a beat when she hears the code being entered at her door. Nayeon is here exactly at midnight just like all the other nights before.

The door opens and there Nayeon is, looking just as beautiful as the day Jeongyeon met her. They both smile and Jeongyeon wastes no time in closing the distance between them, pulling the older woman flush against her body. Nayeon presses herself against her and kisses her like she can't get enough.

Hungry hands pull at each other as they stumble their way to Jeongyeon's bed. Clothes are haphazardly scattered on the floor and they both know Jeongyeon will complain about the mess later, but it never stops them. Jeongyeon's compulsive need to clean seems to disappear when Nayeon's lips are on hers.

Jeongyeon runs her hands over the familiar planes of Nayeon's body and she knows without a doubt that no one will ever know Nayeon's body  as well as she does. There's a sick sense of satisfaction with that knowledge; she shouldn't be the one that knows her so well yet she does anyway.

Nayeon belongs to her regardless of what the ring on the older woman's left hand represents.

"Baby please," Nayeon begs. Jeongyeon doesn't make her wait.

Nayeon is curled up against her side an hour later after their needs have been met. Jeongyeon wonders for the hundredth time what it would be like to have her here permanently. What would it be like to wake up to her beautiful face every morning?

"You should stay," Jeongyeon says quietly, hoping against hope that Nayeon will catch her deeper meaning.

Leave him and come to me.

"I'm sorry, I can't," Nayeon says like she always does. Nayeon is a creature of habit.

She pulls away to slip out of bed and gather her clothes and Jeongyeon feels the warmth seep from her bones. This part is always the worst. The crushing guilt for what they've done that settles in her gut and the loneliness that will haunt Jeongyeon through the night.

Nayeon will go back to her home and her husband and to being just Jeongyeon's friend. Jeongyeon wishes she had something to go back to, but she's trapped here in her apartment, waiting for the day Nayeon decides to make it hers too. A small part of her knows that day may never come.

She loves Nayeon and she knows that Nayeon loves her. But she's learned that sometimes love isn't enough.

Jeongyeon stands at the door, silently watching as Nayeon puts her shoes on. She feels sick. Everything she wants to say claws it's way up her throat, demanding to be let out.

I love you. Please don't go back to him. Let's run away together. Tell me you love me.

Let's stop now.

But Jeongyeon swallows her words, pushes them back down like she always does. Maybe she's become a creature of habit too.

"Be careful going home," Jeongyeon says but her voice comes out all wrong. It's tight and laced with pain and so many other things.

Nayeon freezes. She looks at Jeongyeon with eyes full of pain and longing and so many other things.

"I'll be careful," Nayeon whispers. Neither make a move, prolonging this terrible stalemate they've suddenly found themselves in.

Nayeon breaks first, wrapping her arms around Jeongyeon and burying her face in the crook of her neck. Jeongyeon holds her close and they stand there for longer than they should.

When they break apart, both their eyes are red and full of tears. And Jeongyeon starts to hate herself a little because, despite all the pain, she still leans forward and kisses Nayeon, reassuring her that it's okay.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks gently.

"I'll be here at midnight," Nayeon answers.

When the door clicks shut, and Jeongyeon finds herself alone once again, she heads to the kitchen and pours a glass of whiskey, reveling in the way it burns down her throat. Maybe it will burn away the ache in her chest.

Maybe one day it will give her the strength to stop being Nayeon's dirty little secret.

Author's note: I didn't mean for this to get so angsty when I started writing it, but here we are.