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Sorry boo! Cash wants to hang out now he has a free one, have a great time x - Darren
I looked done at my phone in disbelief, the anxiety creeping in quickly. I can't believe Darren had let me down, more importantly I couldn't believe they'd let me down three minutes after our agreed meeting time. I looked up from my phone, faced with now attending the gig by myself. I contemplated just turning around and leaving, though I couldn't go home because Dougie had Darren over, and I couldn't go to the diner because I knew Chook and his entourage would be hanging around outside.
"Fuck my fucking life." I groaned quietly, making my way into the bar cautiously. I handed the man on the door my ticket, he looked me up and down for a moment though he quickly proceeded to let me in. Walking through the door, I recognised a few people from school, though most of them I'd never met. "Daisie!" I turned my head to the sound of my name being called, Dusty waving me over. I sighed a breath of relief that he'd spotted me so quickly, mentally praising him for finding me before I'd have to walk around the place awkwardly looking for somebody I actually knew.
He sat with his arm around Harper's shoulder and next to Harper sat Missy. Ant and Spider were also sat around the table, drinking for what I can assume is preparation for their gig, washing the anxiety down with beer. I made my way through the bar, Ant didn't hesitate to pull out a chair for me as I drew toward the table. I wore a black tennis skirt with a dark flannel slipped off my left shoulder, accompanied by my black doc's, the closest thing I had to gig attire.
I greeted everybody quickly, taking a between Ant and Missy. "Beer?" Ant asked, passing me a bottle of VB. I nodded, taking the beer from his hand and taking a sip. "Excited for your gig?" I asked Ant, smiling kindly. He nodded, taking a big gulp of his drink. "It's gonna be live-o. We've get some sick new material from our best writer." Ant exclaimed excitedly, patting Spider's shoulder. I looked over at Spider, him catching my gaze quickly. "Really? Anything I might've heard?" I teased. Spider scoffed, rolling his eyes with a smile at my words without a reply.
Ant looked at me strangely. "It's new material, Dumby." Just as I'd expected, what I'd said went over everybody's heads without a second thought. Soon enough, the boys had made their way on stage and began their set. Harper, Missy and I stood within the crowd, there was at least 30 people, which wasn't bad for a high school band. They played a few songs I'd recognised from the gig at Dusty's a few weeks ago before they started to play their new material, other songs were new and a couple were covers from their favourite bands. They had been playing for around 45 minutes and their set was drawing to a close.
"This last song is a new one. it's about, uh, having the opportunity to take care of somebody you love after spending so long watching them from a distance, they just don't know it yet." Dusty had a small description for all of their songs so far, I thought it was cool that he took a moment to give the audience a deeper understanding of their music. Spider took a seat on a stall next to Dusty, both of them switching their usual electric guitars to acoustic.
As Spider and Dusty began to sing, I recognised the song immediately. It was Spider's song. It was slow, meaningful and expressive. I was shocked that something so heartfelt had bled from a pen in Spider's hand, of all people. He was always so emotionless and cold, so derogatory toward everyone that wasn't Ant or Dusty. Though I'd known a part of the song all along, I was still shocked by the nature of it. As for Spider, his voice was rasp yet elegant. I'd never heard him sing like this on any of their other songs, it was an understatement to see everybody in the room was impressed.
"Thank you, goodnight." They ended their set with a roar from the crowd, clapping and chanting surrounding the room. The three boys made their way off stage, coming over to Harper, Missy and I. "That was amazing!" I squealed, pulling Ant into a quick hug. He smiled widely, his breathing heavy. "Thank you, it felt amazing. I'm fucking dying for a bevy, I'll be back in a moment." He said breathlessly, making his way to the bar.
I caught Spider's eye as he made his way over, his damp hair falling in front of his eyes. "You lied to me." I taunted with a charming smile, peering up at him. "How so?" He questioned, lifting his shirt to wipe his face. I caught a glimpse of his chest, my breath snagged in my throat. I quickly looked back up to his eyes. "You told me that song was inspired by nothing in particular, music like that doesn't come from nothing." He chuckled, shaking his head at my words.
"It's just a song, Ditsy." I rolled my eyes, his answer unsatisfactory. "Yeah. Sure, Spider." I nodded at his response and spoke with a sarcastic tone before I made my way back over to the table, grabbing my beer.
"Oh my god, is that her? Yuck!"
"Yep. She's the slut getting double fucked by Spider and Ant, Greta Bathgate saw it clear as day at Mardi Gras."
"Who knows where else she's been. I always see her hanging around those disgusting eshay's at the diner."
"Who knew Spider liked them big."
I froze in my place for a moment, the voices behind me clear. I didn't turn to see who was behind the hurtful words, I didn't want them to know I cared. I stood there for a moment, sucking in a sharp breath. The girls laughed, mocking me rather indiscreetly.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...
I placed my beer back down onto the table, reaching for my bag instead. I made a swift exit, pushing past Harper and Missy who stood with the boys in the process. "Daisie! What the fuck?" Missy called out, though I carried on making my way out. I didn't want to bother them with my problems, I just wanted Darren and Quinni. They were my real friends. I couldn't let these people see me cry, they weren't worth the effort it took to muster tears. I hadn't been called big in years, I hadn't been called anything in years. Nobody cared enough, but now they do. I felt like I was in primary school again. The incest map had turned my quiet life into chaos.
I briskly made my way down the street, tears flowing down my face. Once I'd made it a safe distance away where I could breath for a moment, I sat on the curb. I pulled my knees to my chest as I wept pathetically into my lap, mentally cursing Darren for forcing me to come here in the first place. I was embarrassed, so excruciatingly embarrassed that people I didn't even know where saying such cruel things about me for something that wasn't true.
