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"Spider, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of done it, it was wrong... what I did at the game." I apologised sheepishly, though the sincerity was evident in my voice. It was true, I shouldn't of done it regardless if he deserved it or not.
Spider stared at me blankly, scoffing at my words after a moment. "Is that a joke? Do you know what they've been saying about me?" I blinked, taken aback by his words. "Is it worse than what you've said about me, Spider?" I questioned, Spider shaking his head. I didn't want to get into it again, I wanted nothing more than to forget about it like it hadn't happened at all. I wanted Spencer back, the one I'd only known briefly but come to adore remarkably.
"Yes, Daisie. I said it, I made a mistake. I made a cruel comment at your expense to make Ant feel better when you'd rejected him. Daisie, it was so long go, before Mardi Gras even. I can say I'm sorry, but I can't take it back." He admitted, shrugging his shoulders in defeat. Spider took a step toward me as people began to pile out of the gym, Darren and Amerie watching us from a distance. "You're not innocent, you know? You've made me feel like shit too. You're still the same person who left me on that beach, begging me not to tell your friends who you were spending your time with."
"Don't you think I paid the price for my mistake when you treated me like shit for the first, what? six weeks of term?" I huffed, his words gritting against my brain. Spider tutted, pinching his nose in frustration. I retreated from him, taking a step back. "I didn't come out here to argue, I came to say I was sorry. I won't go back and forth over something so... so... clearly meaningless. A meaningless secret."
"Meaningless?" Spider's voice was soft, smiling through the glimmer of pain in his eyes. "It's all fucked, Daisie. Believe it was meaningless, believe whatever you want." Spider took a step closer to me, his face inching toward mine as he leaned down to meet my gaze. "For the record, it was a secret for you. I did that for you. You was ashamed of me, Daisie. I would've taken all the abuse from Ant if it meant everybody knew who you belonged to. But it's all over now, right?" His eyes bored into mine, I was ready to melt into the ground as I gawked toward him in awe, yearning for his touch. "So, I'll see you around. I guess."
Spider quickly turned, walking away from me briskly. He made me feel selfish, like a narcissist. Spider's words lingered in my mind like a throbbing headache. When we'd discussed the arrangement of a secret 'relationship' I'd assumed by his words that it was a mutual agreement, but now I'd realised that he'd clearly acted that way to make me feel better about my own selfish insecurities. I was insecure of him, what people thought of him, I didn't hide it nor try to. Though the comment of 'Unfuckable' hurt me deeply, the timeline made sense. Everybody says hurtful things to make their friends feel better after a painful rejection.
"What was that about?" Amerie questioned, coming to my side. I turned to face her, smiling softly. "Nothing that interesting." Amerie raised an eyebrow, placing a hand on my shoulder to lead me toward Darren. "We can discuss that later, but right now we have a rager to prepare for."
