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"What the fuck!" I'd told Amerie everything, sitting beside her on her bed. She had invited over after school to watch the season 9 premiere of 'The real housewives of Melbourne', I'd psyched myself up all day to have the courage to tell her what had happened between Spencer and I. Her jaw hung low in shock as I explained the details of our first kiss the night of the gig and how I'd come to remember what had happened the night of the festival, and then what had happened between us in the classroom today.
"Daisie! With Spider? I thought you hated eachother! you like 'em bad ay'?" She wiggled her eyebrows, hitting me with a pillow as I laughed. I sighed a breath of relief, I was expecting a scolding from her. "I know! It's bad isn't it?" I sighed, throwing my head into my hands. Amerie laughed, grabbing my hands and pulling them away.
"So, are you official?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her question, not wanting to tell her what he'd suggested earlier. The term 'friends with benefits' had lingered on my mind all day, I couldn't work out if it was a bad thing for him to want to keep what we'd done a secret. All I can process was the thought that I wasn't good enough for him, that he was embarrassed.
"He wants to keep it a secret... like 'friends with benefits'?" My answer came as more of a question, validating my uncertainty. Amerie's face twisted with confusion. "Can you actually be friends with benefits if you're a virgin? Isn't the benefit sex?" She questioned. I hadn't even thought about it, does this mean we was going to have sex? Was I even ready for sex? I mean, I was prepared, with the helping hand of SLTs I was prepared for anything.
"So you're just friends who... kiss?" My eyes widened at her words, realising how unserious it all was. I was almost offended by how stupid her accurate words sounded. it was clear Spencer liked me, weeks ago he'd told me he loved me. I liked him too, the tension between us all these weeks all made sense once he'd kissed me. "You think he wants to have sex with me?" I asked, to which Amerie giggled. I frowned at her laugh, smacking her arm.
"Well, yeah. Obviously? It's really not that bad. These days sex means nothing." Amerie shrugged. her words, although they were meant to, did not comfort me as she'd hoped. "I didn't mean it like that. I was scared the first time with Malakai, we wasn't even together. I barely knew him, but it doesn't mean it meant nothing... I just mean..." Amerie thought for a moment, thinking of the right thing to say.
I stood from the bed, pacing her room back and forth. "Fuck Amerie! It's all happening too fast! One minute we hate eachother, the next minute he drags me into a classroom and-" I cut my words off, frustratedly running my hands through my hair. "I do like him Amerie, there's a side to Spencer I've seen that nobody else has. But what does it all mean if it's a secret, if it means anything at all."
"Okay, listen Daisie." Amerie stood, placing her hands on my arms forcefully to stop my pacing. "Firstly, fooling around behind everyone's backs is hot! Embrace it." I blushed at her words, laughing softly. "Secondly, you clearly hurt him. He told you he loved you and you made a joke of it, telling him girls like you don't like boys like him? I mean, that's rude as fuck. If that's not bad enough, you told him not to tell anyone you was with him that night in the first place! After he stopped you from being kidnapped by a fucking pervert!" I lowered my head in shame at Amerie's truth, the guilt in my belly bubbling up to my chest.
