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Spencer and my own eyes bored into each other's deeply, the tension hanging between us heavily. His face went from almost relieved, to vaguely embarrassed to evidently shameful. The silence was painful, I swore I could've drowned in it. "Spencer." My voice was soft, sympathetic. I took a step toward him though he stood firmly in his place.
All this time I had sworn he was the bad person, the one attempting to make my life miserable. I realise now that the only reason for any of this was because it was my fault, the worst part of it all is that the night it all took place meant so little to me that I was only now just remembering it all. Only now was it all falling into its rightful place.
For the first time I could recall, Spencer was speechless. He had nothing to say, or maybe there was nothing he wanted to say though he had a million words inching on his lips. I swore for a moment I could see his eyes well with tears, I had clearly overwhelmed him. It was evident in my eyes the memories that had flooded back to me like a riptide on the shore.
"I wasn't joking."
His tone was firm, though not intimidating. The little words he had mustered together were enough for me to hold back a sob, i couldn't begin to fathom my guilt. I didn't know where to begin. Was an apology sufficient? No. An apology after all this time and tension would be nothing but a joke. Spencer looked tired, like he'd grown weary of our rival escapades.
I took another step toward him, closing the gap between us. The issue that had originally made me leave the bar in a haste was so unimportant now that I couldn't even remember what had happened, this was important. Spencer was important. I'd done something terribly unfair in a poor act of misjudgment. Spider had opened his heart to me, he told me he had love for me. He told me he was in love with me, how could I have gotten it so wrong. I took him for a joke, even after all he had done for me that night. If it wasn't for Spider, something awful would have happened to me that night.
"I can't take it back." I muttered, regretfully, my eyes falling from his gaze and to the floor. I'd never felt remorse like this before, he must have been mortified when I'd left that night. Though looking back at it, I don't believe that it was the worst part of it all. Since then, we had bickered like cat and dog. Insulted each other with the intention to harm. I had told him nobody wanted him, the greatest harm of it all.
I couldn't take it back, I could only regret what I had done with great penitence. I barely knew Spencer at the time of the festival, I had spoke to him more these past few weeks than I ever had before the summer, which meant he'd been watching me from afar. I'd never taken a moment to notice. Though some of our interactions held sour memories at the beginning, I couldn't help but feel my heart swell at the thought of his words. I remember the feeling of his hands in mine when he taught me how to play basketball, I remember feeling his breath tingle the bare flesh of my neck. I remember his face, his lips, inches away from me as he cornered me at the bar at Mardi Gras. I remember none of those actions being uncomfortable. I remember the warmth of his embrace as he walked me to my front door, and how I longed to be in his arms again once he'd pulled away.
'I've been in love before. Once.' Once. That word lingered at the front of my mind consistently, once. Spencer held no hesitation in his words, he was telling the truth. That word made my head spin, my lungs internally gasping for air at the thought of somebody loving me so intimately, they didn't even have to think twice about their words.
I raised my hand steadily to bring to Spencer's cheek, though as I neared his face, he cupped my hand in his own, stopping me for a moment. He looked at me intently, searching for an answer to my actions. He weary, I didn't blame him. I nodded gently, a reassurance of my actions and began to move my hand again, my fingers brushing against his skin until my palm rested on his cheek. His hand slid down from mine and rested around my wrist as he took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment.
"Spencer." I repeated his name just above a whisper, his eyes boring down to me. I held my breath, leaning upward to his face. My heels lifted from the ground as I brung my face forward, our noses grazing. I stopped quickly, unable to bring myself any closer toward him. He looked down at me, furrowing his eyebrows. He was expected it, but I couldn't deliver. I was scared, sick with nerves. What if what I'd done pained him so much so that he would reject me? That he would take advantage of my attempt to rectify my actions? A million thoughts raced around my brain, making me feel faint.
I began to pull away from him, my hand falling to my side. My melancholy eyes gazed into his as I took a step back from him, a deep feeling of regret washing over me. "I'm so sorry, Spencer. I hope you can forgive me." I began to turn away from him, spinning on my heels.
Suddenly, Spencer's hand gripped my wrist, thrashing me back unexpectedly. I gasped, thudding into his chest. Spencer placed a hand on my cheek as I did him a moment ago, his thumb caressing the skin tenderly. He leaned down to me, my breath hitching at the back of my throat. He stopped for a moment when his lips grazed mine barely, cupping both my cheeks gently.
Spencer pressed his lips to mine without hesitation. His kiss was sweet, kind. It was enough. It told me everything I needed to know about him. It told me everything about how he felt. It told me the truth. I placed my hands on his chest, kissing him back longingly. It wasn't hungry, nor impure. It was passionate, it was an act of admiration built upon weeks of contention.
I smiled against his lips, Spencer pulling away from the tender kiss. He returned the sweet smile, leaning his forward onto mine. I wasn't sure how long we had stayed like this, but it was perfect. The silence was all we needed, all we wanted in this moment. Our actions spoke all the words we needed to say right now.
"Daisie?" I didn't turn to face the voice immediately, I hadn't even noticed it until Spencer had pulled away first. Though when I had turned around, I was shocked to see who had interrupted us. Sat in my nanna's car, pulled up right next to where Spencer and I sat was Dougie. I took a step back from Spencer, surprised to see him of all people. "Dougie! What are you doing here?" I question with an awkward smile, peering over at Spencer who held in a chuckle.
"I was taking Darren ho- what are you even doing? Get in the car." He cut off his reply to my question quickly, instead firmly forcing me into the car. He didn't like Spencer, I always knew that. As far as Dougie was concerned, I didn't like him either. I hadn't even noticed it was raining until I'd pulled away from his embrace. Dougie glared at Spencer for a moment as I looked over at him without a word, only giving him a content smile to which Spencer returned without hesitation. I opened the door and quickly stepped into the car, Dougie wasting no time to speed off as Spencer stood on the curb, watching us as we drove away.
