The Dark Heir - Nyx

34. Theia

The next day was different. Theia thought she only had herself to blame for that, though. As soon as the sun hinted at its wake, Theia slid from Nyx's arms and hurried to her room. She had bathed and dressed herself in a pretty gown, and then locked her door and sat on the balcony. It was too fast. She had hated Nyx two days prior, and then spent a day laughing and praying for his love. It all moved too quickly.

It might have been wrong of her to run, but Nyx couldn't hurt her if she left first. Unfortunately, she was stuck in the Summer Court with him and didn't know the city. She couldn't run far, so she locked herself away. He couldn't kiss her, whisper sweet nothings, touch her skin. He had knocked several times throughout the morning, but it had been silent for hours now.

Theia spent that time grieving. She grieved the child that felt so lost in the world, the one that fell in love with the first male to show her attention, to allow him to mold and manipulate her into his liking. Theia grieved the love she once had for Nyx and the female she had become after him. Her life had been full of silent nights and busy days, this new routine was terrifying. She cried for who she had once been, who she was now, and perhaps who she would be in the years to come.

Theia wiped at a drying tear, leaning over the balcony to watch the waves dance along the rocks. Her breathing had grown calm, though the weight within her chest hadn't eased. She missed who she had been before Nyx returned. Perhaps she wasn't happy, but she was herself. Theia didn't know who she was anymore. Being wanted by Nyx was nearly worse than being hated by him. It created a new fear that soon enough, he'd grow bored and leave her to fend for herself yet again.

Her door handle rattled, and then a soft knock. Theia closed her eyes, clenching her fists. Soft, though louder footsteps sounded behind her and she knew Nyx had winnowed into her room. She felt his presence, the darkness he seemed to spread.

"Hiding from me is not the best way to go about this."

"Go about what?" Theia asked. She kept her eyes closed, her nails now scratching the stone rail of the balcony.

"You're afraid. You don't want to trust me and you'd prefer to hide away than face me after yesterday," Nyx answered. His presence grew, a wind of warm and cool against the skin of her back, that sensation of arching her back against the eyes of a predator. She was terrified of him, yet she overpowered him.

"Being nothing is far easier than being something," Theia breathed out. The skin of her back prickled just before the warmth of his touch hit her. His finger traced her spine down to the back of her gown, slowing between her wings. She spread them unintentionally.

"Easy is boring, Theia. It doesn't have to be love. We could spend our time together, use each other for pleasure, laugh with each other. You don't have to love me, I don't have to love you. Hiding away from me doesn't solve it. There's something between us and it's only going to eat you alive if you run from it."

Theia clenched her jaw and turned, the railing pressing into her lower back as she lifted her eyes to his. Even while pleading for her attention, he had the face of a monster. Nyx was no fae male. There was always something else lurking beneath his skin that had her own crawling. His eyes were not the glimmering sea blue of joy, but held a shadow that Theia couldn't determine. Anger, lust, frustration, hunger.

"I'm not running. I don't think we fit together. If whatever you want turns to a relationship, you hold so much power over me. You could destroy me again, you could use me for your pleasure and crush me beneath your foot again. I don't want to be close to you or your family again. I'd rather live a life void of your existence than crave something I could never have," Theia argued.

It was pointless. Theia knew well enough that Nyx would give her anything. He was desperate to soothe the wounds he'd carved into her. If she asked for love, Nyx would offer it. If she asked for pleasure, he would fall to his knees. If Theia asked for distance, Nyx would trail her forever. The one thing he would never do is leave her alone.