shattered soul [teen wolf]

[chapter seventy seven] poor little aires used to always quit

'✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

Aires pov...

"Do you want to get clean?" Blake muttered with narrowed eyes, eyes that tracked my every move.

The question haunted me.

"I wish I was dead." I answered honestly. "I think I'm cursed."

"You are not cursed." Blake snapped.

"I think I am. I have bipolar, I always hated myself because of it- I used to think it was my worst nightmare but that isn't true. It's probably the only thing about myself I can tolerate. Sure I go from manic to depressed stupidly quick, but at least it isn't the worst thing about myself, at least it's tolerable. I've killed a lot of people, Blake. The list of people I've murdered goes into the hundreds. Aires Hale, the 'great' Eve Witch. The rumours about me are true, I've tried to deny them for years, but they're true. I am a monster, I am people's worst nightmare. It is just who I am."

"It is not who you are." Blake hissed.

"Oh, but it is. Everything that has happened is my fault. Do you know what the butterfly effect is? It's when one small thing like a butterfly's wings flapping can cause huge differences, it can have catastrophic effects. See everything that has happened, Allison dying, the fire, Scott being bitten by a werewolf in the woods in Sophmore year, all if it happened because of me. Because of my birth. That one small thing, me being born, triggered everything. Kate would've never targeted the Hales, therefore no fire, therefore Peter wouldn't have killed Laura in the woods, Scott wouldn't have been bitten. The butterfly effect." He was staring at me with narrowed eyes, as if I was starting to worry him. "And do you want to know what? I'm not even sad about Rhys dying anymore."

"You're not?" He asked doubtfully.

"No. I'm not mad. I'm pissed. Because the universe will let him die, but me? I'm expected to live forever, to be immortal. It's the sickest joke ever.'

After a deafening amount of silence, Blake slowly leaned back in his seat, his eyes still on mine. "Do you want to get clean?"

"No."

'✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

"Why won't you let me in?"

Chris' tired eyes met Aires as she strolled into the kitchen whilst rubbing at her face. She had barely made it past the door frame before Chris started throwing questions at her. It unnerved her.

He didn't know that she had relapsed, but then again, it may have not been long until he found out.

Stiles knew.

Scott knew.

Theo knew.

Blake knew.

"It's better for you to know nothing." Aires muttered under her breath before strolling to the fridge and swinging open the doors.

"I know about the dread doctors." He barely whispered, making the girl tense up as she grabbed a handful of strawberries. "I know that they are the ones in your head. Deaton told me that- but you won't tell me anything."

She had her reasons, and even though she understood why, she knew nobody else would. Nobody could understand why she had been hiding what had been going on, easy none of them realised that they were the reason she was hiding it all in the first place.

Everything was tense, everything was going shit crazy- and nobody could fully understand why.

They knew what the dread doctors were doing, what they were working on and what there goal was- but they couldn't understand why it was all happening, why everything had suddenly gone shit crazy.