Pangarap ng Simbahan

Chapter 13

Jenice Claire's POV

The next day, well, i decided to take a break from social media and just go outside, naglakad-lakad nalang ako sa labas para mawala na ang INIT SA ULO KO!

It was still fresh in my mind Jade and Fretche teasing me about that sakristan who works sa karinderya, and the more i think about it, the more it makes me angry

I decided to take a walk in the park since it's 3:30 in the afternoon and hindi na gaano ka intense ang uv rays ng sun, in short, hindi na masyadong mainit

It is a beautiful day just to walk around and feel the environment within me, the wind caressing my hair, the fresh air that i breathe, making me feel secure and safe

I closed my eyes and then i felt someone coming near me

"Maam!"

His voice happy and joyful and as i open my eyes, he is standing right in front of me, crap! siya na naman? Ang lalaking sakristan na nag tatrabaho sa karinderya, we meet again for the third consecutive time

Why is this happening to me?

Wala ako sa mood ngayon, my outfit can tell, isang oversized na brown shirt and jeans

"Dito rin po ba kayo nakatira?" He asked me smiling, bakit palagi nalang nakangiti ang lalaking ito? Damn! Nakakairita parang si Jeff

"Yes" matipid kong sagot sa kanya

"Salamat po talaga sa 500 pesos po maam ha, malaking tulong po yon sa mama ko" he thanked me again dahil sa ginawa ko kahapon and that actually eased my anger

"Pedro po pala ako" he introduced his name as he reached out his hand to me so i can shake it

His eyes bringing so much energy, the passion that's burning from within, i thought i would get offended by his presence but his personality is too contagious, nakakahawa yung attitude niya

"Jenice" i replied to him as i held his soft hand shaking it slowly, slowly shaking it as our eyes met each other making the environment to move a little slow and gentle, he's eagerly smiling at me and all that i had to do is to smile back at him

A few minutes passed by nakaupo na kami sa bench ng park and here we are, talking in to the silence of the place

"So, sakristan ka pala na nagse-serve sa church every sunday?" I asked him first making him to explain more of himself

"Oo, sakristan ako na naninilbihan sa simbahan tuwing linggo at kung wala namang sunday church service ay nag tatrabaho ako sa karinderya, plano ko talaga ang pumasok sa pagpapari pero sa ngayon ay hindi pa sigurado dahil di ko pa kayang iwan si mama na mag-isa"

Not bad for a first impression, good

Since i asked him first and he replied, it was sure that it was his turn to ask me something about myself

"Jenice, wag ka sanang magalit sa tanong ko" he softly spoke to me making me sure na hindi ako mati-trigger sa tanong niya and then he asked:

"Bakit hindi ka naniniwala sa Diyos?"

I normally took a glance of the environment as i think, bakit kaya?

Aside from Jade and Fretche, he was the first guy to ever ask me that question, you already know why i lost my faith to God, and maybe this time i get to have a deeper explanation with him

He is very sincere to his question and was concerned about me, i felt quiet for a few seconds when Pedro broke the silence

"Huwag mo nalang sagutin kung hindi mo pa kaya" he said to me but i refuse it, i decided to answer his question

"It's because of the challenges in my life, there are things i wished would have happened my way, but somehow, things wouldn't happen exactly the way we wanted, like my dad, he passed away 3 years ago, one reason that made me to question my faith"

I said to him as my anger started to increase

"Sorry talaga Jenice" he apologized to me

"And many people would say na may reason daw kung bakit kinuha si dad, but damn it! no matter how many times na pag-iisip the only reason that is crystal clear to me is just to hurt me and make me suffer", i said this out of anger as he listens to me carefully, nodding his head telling that he understands every single word that i said

"I've had enough so i decided to just stop  believing in Him", i ended my answer with a calm tone and acted like nothing happened, his eyes staring at me as if he just discovered something different his entire life, literally a new person he just met

After my deep explanation even though we just met each other, well it resulted, into a very deep conversation of two people extremely different when it comes to faith and religion

"Okay lang yan, naiintindiha kita" he said it in a pleasing tone making me feel safe and judgment free of the information that i gave to him

"Pero kung sakali magbago ang isip mo at gusto mong magtiwala ulit sa kanya, pwede kitang tulungan" nag-offer siya sakin and hell do i care! tapos na akong magtiwala and it all lead me to be the best version of myself

I'm going to reject it anyway kahit pa magmakaawa pa siya, wala na siyang magagawa sa reality na ateista ako, I don't believe in God, so, why not respect me nalang?

"Hindi kita inaatake ha" he said to me and i replied to his offer quickly

"No" with a defensive tone, nakakawala ng energy, akala ko ba naiintindihan niya ako?

"Hindi naman ako nag-alok para tanggihan mo" he replied, aba, changing my beliefs? I think no, kailan ba matatapos itong conversation na to? It's stressing me out!

"Sorry", he apologized to me giving him the time to acknowledge his mistakes, you did a very wrong move boy

I rolled my eyes and look afar saying "Whatever", nasa bad mood na naman ako, anger issues making my blood boil

"Kailangan ko nang umalis", he said this to me then he stood up getting ready to leave and again he reached his hand at me saying

"Salamat Jenice para sa malalim na pag-uusap natin, masaya akong makilala ka" his enthusiasm easily attacking me through his eyes, despite of offending me, still we had a deep yet short conversation, and here we go again, hays

I held his hand again and said "It was nice meeting you Pedro", he smiled at me so happily, damn! those cheerful eyes spreading like a disease, nakakahawa, making me to smile again and after that, he started walking away from me

Repeating what he said a while ago as he leaves:

"Okay lang yan, naiintindihan kita"

Makes me to feel

Atleast someone still understands me