Pangarap ng Simbahan

Chapter 53

Jenice Claire's POV

I was so damn heartbroken when I left the church, I never expected that the man I first loved suddenly became my first heartbreak

Binuhos ko ang lahat, binigay ko ng sarili ko only to make our love alive, but it didn’t last for a lifetime

Those two months of love na para bang isang taon dahil sa dami ng mga nalampasang pagsubok, words are not enough to express how I feel
Letting go of someone I loved unconditionally, sobrang sakit talaga

I fell in love, nagmahal ako, we experienced trials and struggles, and then we break up

From telling ‘I love you’ to saying ‘goodbye’ to each other

I cried in silence habang papauwi na sa bahay, I’m sure yaya will see me, I’ll act as if nothing happened a while ago

Binuksan ko ang pinto at bumungad sa akin si Yaya, she was surprised of how I would look like, nakayuko lang at namamaga na ang mga mata

“Maam, ano pong nangyari sa inyo?” she was confused of my composure

“It’s nothing yaya” I refused to answer her question as I walked inside the door, tumabi siya at tumingin sa akin na lumalayo, na naglalakad papunta sa itaas

“Maam, ang pananghalian po ninyo, kumain na po ba kayo?” tanong niya habang papalapit na ako sa stairs

“Kakain ako mamaya” I lied to her without moving my direction at nagpunta na kaagad sa kwarto

I locked the door and spent the whole afternoon crying

This has to stop!

Bago pa nga lang ang pagkamatay ni nanay at hindi pa ako fully recovered, I’m gonna suffer again dahil he’s breaking up with me, he chooses God over his girlfriend

He wants to pursue priesthood and I can’t stop him, wala na, si God na yun, wala na akong magagawa sa kanya

It’s sad to say na siya na nga ang nagbigay sa akin ni Pedro, siya na rin mismo ang kumuha kay Pedro palayo sakin

Life hurts you know?

Hindi ko pa nga alam kung anong gagawin ko, I have no plans for the next few days

Gosh, ano ‘to Lord?

Pinakilig mo pa ako pero magiging luhaan lang pala ako in the end, it’s so unfair!

“Maam, kumain na po kayo, magkakasakit po kayo dyan” Yaya knocks on the door habang umiiyak ako sa kama

“Just leave it there, iwan mo nalang sa labas” I said to her and after a few seconds, tumigil na siya sa pagkakatok

All the crying and stuff is making me hungry, I have no choice, I went out, took the food inside the room at kumain ako

Night time has come, I never went out of my room for once, I am  emotionally damaged by his detachment

Parang nawawalan na ulit ako ng pananampalataya kay God, after so many things that had happened in my life