Pangarap ng Simbahan

Chapter 18

Jenice Claire's POV

After that rough dream i had last night, crap! sobrang nasaktan talaga ako non, after 4 years had passed, the pain was still there, it didn't healed, i felt like it happened yesterday, i woke up crying, damn! sobrang sakit, here i am again crying alone in my bed early in the morning

Umagang-umaga bakit ba ganito ang nararamdaman ko? i'm trying my best not to forget daddy but if i keep on remembering him, his memories also brings pain and misery to my life,

"It's okay", i comforted myself, this moment reminds me of the time nung umiyak ako dahil hindi naging honor student, pero wala na si daddy ngayon, sinong magbubukas sa pintuan ng kwarto ko para yakapin ako at e-comfort? I get it, mag-isa nalang akong iiyak, matagal na 'to, been crying alone for almost 4 years na

Pinahiran ko ang mga luha ko and just maybe have some fun with Fretche and Jade, i'll keep myself busy on having time with my friends, wala naman akong time para sa family ko eh, me, spending time, bonding with mom and that stupid Jeff? That's like a story that won't ever come true, ayokong mangyari yon, i'll be fine without them anyways, they don't seem to care at me

It was about 8 in the morning when i just started crying, i am still crying right now, looking silently at my room, to my closet, to the sun coming in through the window, anong maganda sa umaga? i'm not in the mood right now, really, i'm a bit sad dahil dun sa panaginip ko last night, niyayakap ko ngayon ang mga paa ko habang nasa bed pa rin, then suddenly

The door opens

Is that you dad?

I asked to myself, i keep on thinking na buhay pa si daddy and imagine that he would be the one doing it, i bowed my head habang niyayakap ang mga paa ko, I'm not gonna look

Ayoko nang tumingin dahil alam kong hindi naman si daddy yon, pero kung si daddy nga talaga yun, who am i to complain? I would cry even more dahil nandito siya para e-comfort ako

The door opens and i hear a manly voice

"Anak, bakit ka umiiyak?"

It's the same line i heard from daddy, and as i look up, crap! It's freaking Jeff looking at me, he opened the door and was about to approach me but i stopped him

Damn! My imagination is killing me!

I suddenly went beast mode through my eyes, tumaas ang mga kilay ko, what is he doing here in my room? Grabe talaga ng umaga ko when i see Jeff, yung lungkot na nararamdaman ko, NAPAPALITAN NG GALIT!  BWESIT!

"Bakit ka nandito?", diretsahan kong tanong sa kanya as if parang walang nangyari, umiyak ako a few minutes ago, pero the past is over and gone, sabi ika nga ng favorite band ni daddy

"Eh, gusto ko lang malaman kung gising ka na ba pero umiiyak ka pala", he reasoned out, "Baka kailangan mo ng makausap ngayon anak", he added but I don't care, I don't need his help

He took a few steps just to approach me, "Pwede mo akong kausapin", his concern to me but i stopped him immediately as my anger is beginning to rise

"Get away from me!", pagsabi ko sa kanya ng may galit, gusto niyang makipag-usap sakin pero ako, hindi!

He stopped moving for a few seconds while i took a deep breath, trying to stop my anger, nakatayo lang siya malapit sa door, ano? Hindi ba siya aalis dito?