Always Yours. | Justin Bieber

Chapter 14

Chapter 14 - Explanations

Justin's Point of View.

I felt like a fucking idiot.

I was a fucking idiot. Firstly for lying to Julie, secondly for giving her lame excuses and thirdly for not following her when she walked away from me yesterday night. I should have followed her and try to make everything up with her but instead I decided to let her go and to go back to the party to smoke some more. Yeah that was fucked up but unfortunately I realized that this morning when I was lying in the bed after coming home from the party. I didn't sleep at all. I was just thinking about how stupid I had been and how I should make it up to Julie.

I was lying on my side of the bed and staring at the ceiling. Julie was lying in the bed too, her back turned to me, but she didn't know I was there because when I came back she was fast asleep and I tried not to wake her. I was waiting for her to wake up on her own so I could talk to her about everything that had happend last night and this time I had to be honest with her. I didn't know why I lied to her in the first place. I think I just lied to her to, well, lie to her. How fucked up.

I didn't want her to find out about me doing drugs the way she did but now it happend and I couldn't change anything about it. I just wished I had told her sooner so now we wouldn't have problems. It's not like it was always my fault that we had problems in our relationship and now I was adding to it. I was never thinking before I did something. I groaned lowly and rubbed my face with the palm of my hands. I was doing everything wrong and we were doing so good the past month. Shit. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose to come down.

At the same time I felt Julie moving next to me. My eyes were closed and I kept them that way. Julie moved again and I knew that this time she turned around to see if I was there. She did that every morning when she didn't know if I was coming back home or not. When she turned back to the position that she was before I opened my eyes and looked at her. She stood up and headed to the bathroom that was connected to our bedroom. I heard the water from the sink running for a while and when she turned the water off she came back to the room and laid down on the bed, her back facing me again. I moved so that I was closer to her and then I wrapped my hand around her middle.

"Baby we need to talk," I whispered and kissed her bare shoulder. Thankfully she didn't make a move to get away from me.

"I don't know if I wanna talk to you," she said bluntly and I could totally understand her but I wanted to make it right.

"Well than listen to me at least," I said and waited for her to answer me. She didn't say anything at all and I guessed that it was my cue to talk. "I'm so sorry for yesterday night," I apologized and I really meant it. I didn't want to fight with her.

"You are always sorry Justin, that doesn't really change anything," she answered and she was right. I always apologized to her for my behaviour or for what I said and then I always found another way to fuck it up. But she always forgave my mistakes and I hoped that she would forgive me this time as well.

"I know but I really mean it," I said and wrapped my arm tighter around her. "I shouldn't have lied to you and I shouldn't have done things behind your back," I sighed. I didn't say more than that. I had no idea what to say because I didn't know what the right thing to say was besides that I was truly sorry.

We both stayed silent for a moment. I wanted to say something but Julie was faster than me and she spoke up, "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do," I told her right immediately. I really did trust her. I think she was one of the people I trusted the most along with my parents and my two best friends back in California.