Always Yours. | Justin Bieber

Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Seduction

Justin's Point of View

The next morning I was woken up by the loud music outside the hotel. I groaned and let my eyes adjust to the light. After I streched myself I stood up and walked to the bathroom to wash my face. I splashed some water on my face and then I dried it with a towel. I looked at my own reflection in the mirror and I noticed that I looked tired but I didn't feel tired even though I didn't sleep much. Maybe two hours or three.

I had no idea when the boys came back. I left the beach without them around midnight, after Julie had called me. I was not in the mood to do anything anymore after that. I thought about the fight the entire time and it kept me up until I eventually fell asleep.

I was so pissed off because she was pissed off that I had a picture Jessica. But the more I thought about it I tried to understand her anger. I told her she was overexaggerating but thinking about it I would be too if it was the other way around and I saw a picture of her with another boy. I would probably look for the boy and beat him up for getting too close to my girl and touching her.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. I felt like a complete douche for telling her off yesterday when she had every right to feel the way she felt. I knew that I had to make it up to her but only saying sorry wouldn't make up for calling her a bitch.

I had no idea what to do. It used to be so much easier and now everything was so different and difficult and I didn't understand where we went wrong.

Maybe it was not her who was doing something wrong. It was probably me since when we fought it was mostly because of me, just like yesterday. She was perfect, she has always been. I was the one who changed, who started doing drugs and drink every weekend. Sometimes I left fridays to go out with my boys and I came back sundays without calling her once or texting her just to let her know that I was okay. I used to do that all the time in the past but then I suddenly stopped. I wasn't good enough anymore.

Maybe I was just unsure about everything, about Julie, about our relationship, about my love for her.

I mean I knew I loved her, I really did but was it still enough to be in a relationship with her? I wasn't giving her what she deserved anymore and she honestly deserved the world and I didn't know if I could ever give it to her even if I tried my hardest to do so. She was going through a lot because of me and it was a wonder that she was actually still together with me after I ditched her so many times to be with my boys instead and after I ignored her so many times for no reason.

Maybe I was scared of commitment.

Julie and I moved in our house about a year ago because we both thought it was the right thing to do but what if it wasn't? Maybe our decision to move together was itrational and it was just too quick but we both didn't realize and now realization was catching up. I think I was too caught up with all the positive aspects of living together with her that I forgot to think about all the negative ones.

I was so confused about everything and mostly about my feelings because it never came to the point where I really thought about it and let it go through my head. I just needed some time to really think about everything so I could make a decision on what I was doing next. But right now all I wanted to do was to forget about everything so I left the bathroom I was still in to go back to the room and I laid down in my bed and hoped that sleep would take over and make me forget.

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In the evening the boys were down at the beach but I stayed in the hotel room because I wasn't in the mood to party tonight. I just sat on the balcony and watched the people party from here.