Apodyopsis: Built for sin (GxG)

Apodyopsis-BFS 40

Léonce Vérene Lavigne

They say everything happens for a reason and will make sense one day. But whatever the reason is, it will never make sense to me. Why are there so many challenges when all I want to do is finally be myself and follow my heart? I didn't sign up for this. Ganon na ba kahirap sumaya and be with her?

"Nakita mo nga siya?" Elise inquired as she sat in the chair in front of me, holding a cup of coffee. We're in a coffee shop near her office.

"Yes." Remembering the day I saw her once more made me sigh. I sipped my coffee with my legs crossed. "At the club when you both force me to go."

Well, not fully forced because part of me wants to go to divert myself.

"It's funny tho. Lagi na lang sa club ang meeting place niyo." Donte said. "Remember the first time you guys met? Kung saan may nangyari sainyo."

I wouldn't forget it, of course. Although it wasn't my aim to get drug, it did happen. My life was drastically altered that night, yet I don't regret it because it was a single incident that caused me to experience such a wide range of emotions. I was outraged that I engaged in sexual activity and what surprised me the most was that I had sex with a woman. I've never imagined myself in a relationship with someone of the same gender, so what more sex? Kaya that day nang magising ako sa place niya agad akong umalis. I don't want to face her.

"Nakapag-usap ba kayo?" I shook my head to Donte.

"But," I paused, since I enjoy making them wait. They're both staring at me, patiently waiting. "I took her to her place. That's all."

They gave me a dubious glance, but I kept my face straight.

It's true, I took her to her house, but that's not it. There's something that happened between us, but I'm not going to tell them because it's private.

I was forced to go to a club that night and I'm glad I went because I saw Avril, which made me happy. I was surprised to see her, that for sure, since I hadn't seen her in over a year. That's why I couldn't contain my excitement when I saw her, but I was also jealous because she seemed so happy kissing the girl.

​Simula nang makita ko siya I never look away from her. I was just watching her, partying like there's no tomorrow. Kahit na ang sakit panoorin na kung sino-sino ang kahalikan niya. I could just walk in and grab her, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I'm scared na ma-reject ako. Lalo na mukhang naka-moved on na siya sa'kin.

I breathed in. "Okay, I'm decided. I'll try to get her attention."

My heart was beating so fast as I walked towards her direction. Habang naglalakad sinusubukan kong maging normal. I was biting my lower lip, hoping she would notice me. Sinadya ko talagang dumaan sa harap niya. Napapikit ako, she didn't change, I guess. Dahil tulad ng first encounter namin, she touched my ass. Humarap ako dito, as soon as we faced each other, umasta siya na parang hindi niya ako kilala hanggang sa hinila na ako ni Elise.

I was just watching her become buzzed until she started dancing in the middle. She's alone, but she appears to be with someone.

Napailing ako. She's wasted.

Hindi na ako makatiis at basta ko nalang siyang kinaladkad palabas. I forced her to get in to my car kahit na kung ano-ano na ang sinasabi niya.