GIRL GROUP | jjk

Chapter 35

"Karma Chan!" someone yells behind me. 

I turn around, registering how ridiculously good our fans are at distinguishing me and the girls. I'm fully masked up, bucket hat, baggy jeans and the whole mix. It's just me today, walking the streets of Hongdae in the middle of the afternoon. I begged Kristine for some alone time. It was a complete hassle to convince her that I don't need a bodyguard. But I reminded her—Moonscape does things a bit differently. Being out and about, alone, couldn't be that big of a risk. At least, that's what I tried to convince her of. 

"Karma," she says again. 

I gather that she's in high school. For a second, the whole Jungkook controversy—the girls and I using him—spurs an immediate fight or flight reaction. There have been large groups of people attending our performances who purposely stay dead silent when everyone else cheers. It's been more than a month since the controversy came to light, and I want to say that it's settled down a bit.

"I know a picture might be a bit much," she says, running a nervous hand down her braid. "But could I please get your autograph? I'm Chinese, just like you—and you inspire me to follow my dreams of becoming a music engineer." 

I've never thought that I'd have a full circle moment so early in my career. But being here, in the busyness of the street, and knowing that I gave someone strength—it's almost enough to bring me to tears.

"Of course, sure," I say. "What would you like me to sign?" 

"My phone, please," she says, showing me the back of her clear phone case. She digs into her purse for a Sharpie, like she was prepared for this moment when it comes. 

"It's crazy to think that I gave you some inspiration," I say, trying to search for a more eloquent phrase—but the truth is, I'm just as shocked as she is running into me. 

"Oh, more than just some." She flushes. "Oh, I always wanted to ask you. Do you still keep in contact with Jungkook oppa?" 

Another flashback—this one more recent, comes to mind. Two days ago, his reality show with the Fates finally finished airing. I think that has a lot to do with the controversy settling—the picture of him actually having a good time in the Fates. 

"Um." I can't lie to this girl who looks up to me like a role model. "Honestly, I don't keep in contact with him. It seems... we've gone our separate ways." 

Disappointment crosses her face. Then, it disappears for a radiant smile. "Karma, I'm so glad I got to meet you. Hopefully, I can see you at the coming concert in October. I got tickets!" 

"Oh, congrats! You must've gone through hell to get them," I say, trying to joke without showing how much the mention of Jungkook's name affects me.

"It was worth it." She stills, then gives me a shier smile. "I hope you don't blame yourself for what happened with him. And I hope you two can reconcile." 

When she leaves, I continue my walk. And I don't feel so alone—not at all, actually.

*

"I can't believe it!" Jesstina squeals, as we enter one of the sky boxes in Seoul Olympic Stadium. "HYBE is giving us the golden girl treatment. A BTS concert with a stellar view. A girl could never have dreamed!" 

"It'll be good for us," Nabi says, flushing since Jesstina practically made us run to our seats. "We get to see them right before a concert of our own." 

"And we can use some inspiration," I say, finishing her train of thought. 

As the minutes pass, I peer out of the sky box and watch the stands fill with thousands of fans. The sky turns a tint darker, and Kristine and our other managers are texting away behind us. I ready myself with the customized posters that were handed out at the entrance. The slogan says, "We shine bright with BTS. The stars cannot match our togetherness." 

The lights dim, and Jesstina and Nabi grab my arm on either side. I suck in a breath, holding it. BTS has the power to make anyone starstruck, and that certainly has not changed even after I debuted.

BTS enters the stage, standing out from the background dancers with hot red outfits weaved with black. They begin with "ON," and Jesstina's screams blare into my ears. Nabi is a quieter fan, but she certainly waves her ARMY Bomb with enough fervor to burn at least a few hundred calories.

I alternate between screeching with the fans and raising my own ARMY Bomb high above my head. I know they can't see me, but it's enough to be one little dot in the sea of ARMY.

After the first couple of songs—"ON," "Dionysus," and "Magic Shop," the guys begin to introduce themselves. With each member, the cheers echo throughout the stadium in a chorus of mania. 

Jeon Jungkook is last. When he brings his mic to his face, I recognize the break in his demeanor. His face falls and he swipes his microphone away. When the first few tears of his fall, I feel them as my own. The crowd roils, shouting out encouragements—all the love boiled down into one or two words.

He brings his mic to his face again, but his tears make it impossible for him to speak. The other members draw close to him, patting him in a way that says take your time. 

I don't even realize it until the tears drop down from my jaw and into my left hand. I was crying too. Jungkook must be feeling all the emotions of performance—the pure happiness, the fear that you don't deserve the love, the insecurity of being on the stage, the shock of how many people know your lyrics and can sing them with just as much fervor as the artist.

I cry with Jungkook. It feels like the least I can do.

A/N: I personally have never been to a BTS concert in real life. I've seen it live in the movie theaters, though! They put up such a phenomenal performance.

I wanted to ask whether you've ever been to a BTS concert? If so, how was it? If you didn't get to go yet, are you saving up for 2025? I know I'm definitely setting some money aside to try to score some tickets.