GIRL GROUP | jjk

Chapter 36

The HYBE Halloween party is a "new, annual tradition," as said by CEO Kimmy. Taking place on a cruise ship on the Han River, I am kind of—no, very—nervous about meeting all the other idols in the company. Filmed a few weeks before Halloween, it'll be ready for the fans to watch just in time for the thirty-first.

I stand on the bank of the river in my costume. I'm cosplaying as Nurse Akali, a character from League of Legends. She's basically an assassin in a nurse's outfit. I wonder if I went a bit overboard. Hopefully, everyone else's costumes are just as noticeable.

Jesstina stuns in what she calls her disco ball outfit. When I asked her what she is, she said, "disco ball, obviously." I don't know if anyone else will go her route, but she's definitely glowing and sparkling at all angles.

Nabi is a character from MapleStory, her favorite childhood game. Her outfit is inspired by one of the famous chibi, beginner magician artworks—all blue robes and a sapphire wand. The difference between her and Jesstina is stark, but they're both equally excited.

"I finally get to fulfill my fangirl dreams," Jesstina says, gleaming. "Not only do we get to see BTS again, but TXT, ENHYPEN, SEVENTEEN, NewJeans...."

The list goes on and on, but I can't continue listening with my heart pattering—the anticipation of seeing Jungkook again making me dizzy.

"You can't possibly be a big fan of everyone," Nabi says, as she's continuing her spiel.

"Oh I am." Jesstina begins to follow as Kristine and the protocol team gives us the go-ahead to walk toward the pier. "Don't tell me you're not a fan of all these artists."

"Of course I'm a fan," Nabi replies. "Just not...."

"Not what?" Jesstina says. "Are you calling me a crazy fangirl?"

"Girls," I say. "I just think we're showing excitement in different ways."

"Your ex is here," Jesstina says. "Of course you're acting different!"

I suddenly want to throw us all over the bridge, into the water so that I'd wake up spluttering awake on the bank rather than in a party with Jungkook. I try to keep my emotions in check. "That's just ridiculous."

Nabi gives me a few pats against the back, almost as if telling me we're here. You don't have to face your past alone.

"Tonight is supposed to be fun," I say.

"The cameras are on," Jesstina says. "So it's still half-work."

It's something I'm still getting used to—I don't know how BTS handle the attention, especially while filming content like In the SOOP. Now that Jungkook's cameraman is not in our lives, it feels like such a big relief. It also feels like something is missing—but that goes away once we're living in the whirlwind of creating content.

As we enter the ship, I feel the barely-there shift of the water underneath us, swaying me to and fro. The sensation goes away as we continue to walk, into the main ballroom.

The decorations cause me to blink, testing my belief on whether this is all reality. Golden and silver streamers hang from the ceiling. Carved pumpkins with all sorts of whimsical expressions sit on each table. Candles fill the air with the scent of apple pie, and the chairs and walls are covered in autumn-toned fabric. Chandeliers and candelabras provide a dim, amber lighting.

And the costumes are to die for. I see Choi Yeonjun dressed as the pink-haired girl from Spy x Family. Heeseung is an actual fairy prince, and Yehana is a 2013 Ariana Grande. All of a sudden, I don't feel so out of place anymore.